One of the owners, the one who I mainly work for, is out sick today and won’t be coming to the Christmas party.

Two of the sales people are out sick as well.

And Mickey, the guy who sits up here with me, hasn’t shown up today at all.

Tomorrow, two-thirds of the office is taking the day off, presumably to recuperate from whatever they do tonight at the party.

I drive three hours to and from work every day, and I wasn’t planning to attend this party. Go, and then get home around what, 10? 11? Then get up at 7AM tomorrow to drive back up here to work? No thanks.

But they’re all trying to guilt me, with sad eyes and extended lower lips. “Don’t you want to be one of us?” they ask me. “We hardly ever see you, since you’re upstairs [thank the dear, dear sweet Lord] and we want to get to know you better.”

And did I mention… I somehow signed a contract that says we have a two-drink minimum maximum at office functions and conferences paid for by the company?

Me, an entire gaggle of sales people, and only TWO drinks?

What are they crazy?

I’m now up here trying to make myself get a cold… but it’s 50 degrees outside and there isn’t any wind.

Argh.

Nine purses, two wallets, two pairs of sunglasses and one completely dead Porkchop… that is what I accomplished this morning on Canal Street.

We walked the 40 or so blocks down, but cabbed back. Which was necessary, but kinda sad since the cab drove by a restaurant called “Burgers and Cupcakes,” and it had a giant, pink-frosted cupcake on the awning.

Fortunately for the no-longer-fully-functioning-Porkchop, it wasn’t “Sushi and Cupcakes,” so I didn’t make the cabbie stop.

Fortunate also for me, since he might’ve disowned me at that point, lol.

I like CNet. It’s entertaining, smart and I love how readers can comment on stories.

So I’ve been following the story of James Kim since he and his family were reported missing last week. And I was so happy they found his wife and daughters on Monday, and so sad when they found his body today.

It appears that he, like his father who hired helicopters and then purchased and had dropped several care packages along the route they believed Kim was traveling in Oregon, was willing to do whatever it took to save his family.

They stayed in the car for several days, burning tires for heat, before he set out on Saturday, looking for help. He traveled eight miles, and sadly ended up less than a 1/2 mile from the car.

He was a good reporter, highly entertaining, and obviously a good father.

I was really hoping they’d find him alive and it’s so sad they didn’t.

Update: CNet has a video up. I think one of the reasons I liked him was ’cause he’s a little bit nerdy, kinda like me.

Fun things at work:

Hearing I’m going to need to spend way too much money on programming customization, yet knowing my boss will want it anyway, for less. (And hearing… But.. uh.. why can’t YOU just do it?)

Working on a computer in a room that’s around 60 FUCKING degrees. (My hands are numb.)

Realizing I made more money working at a coffee shop when I was in high school than what I’m making base salary. (Nice and depressing.)

Having conference calls with PC’s ex-wife (and her boss and some random newbie), who’s actually very nice on the phone (but I wonder.. what is she actually thinking) and listening to her mention the PC and trying not to do so myself (but ending up doing it anyway).

Good times.

I smoked a cigarette.

DON’T JUDGE ME!

(rather, send me presents. I’m having a bad day. 🙁 )

The Chop and I got a Christmas tree yesterday.

It’s kinda short, but perfect for the size of our apartment.

Sadly, it’s also a little bare, as somehow I forgot I have very little ornaments… eight, to be exact (and one is a glass octopus with two legs broken off).

See, last year I had a couple dozen white, gold and silver glass balls that covered my tiny little, pre-lit tabletop tree.

And then, one night, Ellie knocked that tree off the table and onto the hard floor and the next morning, I had four little glass balls left.

So this year, after we put up the lights, I hung those four little balls, the octopus, two snowmen and the tiara (on the top), and realized that our tree was pathetic.

Then I added the candy canes I don’t like (JellyBelly makes a cotton candy one, but it comes in a pack with cherry cherry and pear, so there are 16 to hang) and voila! it almost looks like a real tree.

A little.

The tiara is a little weird; I need to go to a store, lol.

It’s a documented fact I’m not the biggest fan of Walmart.

But there’s this Supercenter one on my way home from work, and the prices are really good.

And the best part?

The self-checkout lane allows for 20 items.

Granted, I checked out of there with 32 items, but at least it wasn’t the “10 only” regular Walmart.

I also learned that if I ever need a second job, I can TOTALLY be a checker. I’m fast and I bag well.

😀

It’s the little things, you know.

I’m cooking a turkey.

And first of all, cleaning a turkey and soaking it is quite possibly the grossest thing ever. And it’s kinda smelly. (It was a fresh turkey, as in, LIVE three days ago.) Ugh.

Now it’s cooking in the oven and two hours later, it’s finally starting to smell like an actual turkey, which is much better than what it smelled like when we opened the bag yesterday.

So the turkey is cooking, the pots are set on the stove for the rest of the goodies and I am now drinking alcoholic coffee.

Mmmm, holidays. 🙂

Happy Thanksgiving!

You, girl on the train with her boyfriend (who was helping a nun with her suitcase).

Me, long-haired, bony-assed youngish dude with a beanie wearing jeans.

Your back was toward me when your hand slid up my leg and grabbed my ass, but I know you were only trying to be sly so your boyfriend (again, who was helping a nun) wouldn’t see.

Let’s get together and grope.

………..

I will never, ever live this down. EVER. I have never been so mortified. And the Chop thinks it’s hysterical. Kill me.

Thai food at one of my favorite restaurants, Topaz… $50

Midnight pizza at Famiglia… $9

Cupcake at Crumbs for breakfast (it was Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough)… $3

Nova Salmon on a Bagel w/ Capers for lunch… $5

Learning the Porkchop Now Has to Come to NYC several times a month (and I get to come too.. free hotel!)… PRICELESS.

Which means in two weeks, when we’re back down here and can stay through a Saturday, Porkchop gets to experience Canal Street. Woot!

(Although I admit I am a little worried they will think he is conspicuous… due to the 6’3″ problem, lol.)

My cousin’s oldest son is IMing me right now, which is always highly entertaining, simply because he tries to make me believe he is his mom. This time I almost thought it was her, but I quizzed him and badaboom, it’s the little bugger. (I told him he’s not getting any Christmas presents now, lol.)

The Porkchop and I are heading to NYC tomorrow for a few days. He has to work there and I want to shop… :D. Sadly, I also have to work, but it’s the first week of my 2-days-at-home, 3-days-at-work deal and while I’ll work during the day, at night, I shall shop and go to the theatre and eat NYC food. 🙂 🙂 (Somewhere my sister is very jealous.)

So I shall leave her with some new music I just recently stumbled across…

I heard about Kris Delmhorst on NPR the other night. She has several albums, but her most recent is one where she takes old poems (from the likes of E.E. Cummings and Robert Browning) and sets them to music—and they are lovely.

One of my favorites: Galuppi Baldessare.

Another I heard somewhere I can’t remember, a folk singer named Catherine Feeny. The song I first heard, and one of the ones I love best, is Mr. Blue.