Never, ever, ever think you can work at home when your parents are visiting.

Mother of god.

I am in my guestroom/office, holed up with both my cats (as they don’t like anyone but me), desperately attempting to work.

I kept getting interrupted with questions, etc., so I finally made it perfectly clear that I need to work uninterrupted.

They are in my kitchen, all of ten feet from me (the doors are shut), having decided to REARRANGE my kitchen furniture… because they think it will be better.

I liked my kitchen.

They are now talking to each other re: a) I haven’t cleaned my vacuum cleaner in ages (according to my mom), and I must have an entire cat in there, and b) arguing about where the best place is to put my microwave.

Kill me.

I am exhausted.

I drove almost 500 miles today. I’ve been up since 7 and it’s almost midnight. I want to go to bed.

My dad slept most of the way and when we got back into town, around 9PM, he wanted to stop at Home Depot. An hour later we were home. Now he has taken apart my shower door. I asked him not to, I want to shower and go to bed. Did I mention I have to work in the morning?

No, no, he said. It won’t take long and it needs to get done.

Kill me. Please. Someone.

My dad is driving me batshit.

Mom and I are ready to leave him with the neighbors.

We slept in today. That’s one thing I know I learned from my parents… how to sleep late. 🙂 Seeing as how it was about noon, my mom suggested we eat hoagies for lunch. The best place in the world to get hoagies is this tiny little town in PA, where you call in your order to the American Legion. Since we aren’t members, we then drive around back and go in through the kitchen to pick them up. My mom won’t eat hoagies anywhere else but here. Something about the best bread and hot peppers in the world. 🙂

The Legion was having a gun show, so my dad decided he’d go in and look around while my mom and I went back to the house to eat. He bought knives and debated a few guns. He’s an Army man, Ranger, Green Beret, etc. Apparently, when he was waiting to hear about his acceptance to medical school, he told my mom if he didn’t get in, he was going to be a professional soldier. I learned that this afternoon, sitting at an old kitchen table with my mom, munching on hoagies.

It’s easy to talk to my mom… particularly when she’s not stressed out about work. Somehow her hometown makes her reminisce. I’ve never really heard the entire story of how my parents met, how he proposed, when they lived together, etc., so I asked. And she will always tell us if we ask—it’s one of the things I love best about her. She never lies or tries to hide anything.

My parents lived together for two years before they got married, and that’s a real sore spot for both of them—it’s exacerbated now because my sister lives with her boyfriend back home in WA. Being Christians now, that’s a big no-no… but my mom didn’t give me the religion perspective. Instead, she explained why it was hard for her and their relationship… the revelation about the career soldier thing was explained because it hurt her so deeply. Being a career soldier kinda eradicates plans for a wife and a family—to her, he was saying she wasn’t as important as medical school, etc. The day he got accepted, they made plans for the wedding.

They’ve been married for 27 years, through good times and bad, and they’d never survive without each other.

Then again, my dad was shooting spit wads at me through his straw at the restaurant this evening… he might not live for much longer. 😛

There was a tractor parade. I think it was sponsored by John Deere, lol.

My mom kept smacking my dad and I because he kept looking at me and then pointing, “Look.. I think, I think it’s another John Deere.” We were laughing hysterically.

The tiny new coffee shop (oh please) tried to kill me with my double espresso. It was so indescribably bad.

There were booths set up selling very odd things, including toe socks… (thought of you, Harley), Maryland crab cakes (I tried a bite and almost gagged), flea market-type things and pulled pork sandwiches…

I have pictures. And you will die.

Once we get back from dinner, I’ll upload them. 🙂

Somehow, due to rain, traffic, road construction and stopping for lunch and to shop a little (Dad needed some new shirts… :P), a 450 mile trip managed to take almost 12 hours.

Synopsis of the trip:
Dad wants to invest in robots… I got a two hour lecture on robots.
Dad wants to know about websites… I gave a two hour lecture on websites.
Dad has a patient in the hospital back home who has multiple problems… Dad was on the cell phone for probably three hours altogether explaining this to: the patient, her husband, the nurses and two other doctors.

My parents live an incredibly stressfull life, and they can never seem to get away from it. I think that’s one of the reasons I shy away from stress and conflict… partially because I have a very empathetic soul, which I try desperately to control, and partly because that stress colored my childhood.

I grew up fast.

Anyway, we’re staying with the most fabulous older woman. She’s in her late 70s and spry as all get out. Her husband was quite well off, so she lives in this big house in this tiny little town where my mom grew up. And she’s a riot. My mom and I have stayed with her before and she’s just so much fun and sweet and I want to be her when I get old.

We were running late (five hours), so we called her, just to see if we needed to stay outside of town and not arrive at 1230AM. She said, “Of course not! I’m wide awake.”

And she was. And the first thing she said when we walked in? “Hi you guys. Did you have a nice trip? Who drove?”

We all pointed at me.

“Honey, do you still drink straight vodka? I bought a bottle just for you. Let me go pour you a drink.”

I love this woman.

My dad is upstairs now, on the phone with the patient again, and my mom, E and I are, to quote them, “shooting the shit.”

Tomorrow, the festival begins with a tractor pull and a parade… then there’s going to be apple butter, cider, pie, etc. being made and pigs being greased.

Ah, small town life. 😛

My parents arrived without incident. They apparently slept well; I still had crazy dreams. ARGH!

Morning synopsis:

Wake up at 3AM—Dad’s phone is ringing. It’s about a patient back home. (Dad is surgeon.)
Wake up at 730AM—My phone is ringing. It’s Jen; I need to go by there and pick up my camera before we leave.
Wake up at 945AM—Mom is up and has wandered into my room. She’s taking a shower… am I going to make coffee?

So now everyone is up. Coffee has been made, everyone has scoured the kitchen for breakfast and realized I have nothing. Seriously. My dad and I had leftover pad thai from dinner.

My mom has brought out nine different kinds of baked goods… and new sheets and a new comforter. (She’s fabulous, no?)

They’ve showered. My dad is dressed, my mom is in a housecoat and I’m in my PJs still.

My dad has assessed everything he is going to do and has already taken out the screwdriver and debated the merits of screws and such with me… as I nodded and went about my business.

They’re putting the new cover on the new comforter in my bedroom and I’m answering some emails.

We’re supposed to drive nine hours today to PA… we need to leave soon.

And now my mom wants more coffee, rotfl, so I need to go make it.

Oh, and they know I blog and I told them I’m blogging about this, so every time they do something funny, or tell me what else they think they should fix while they are here, my dad looks at my mom and says, “I bet she’s going to blog about this.” And then they laugh.

Be back later… when I tell you all about the drive.

😛 If I survive.

The data center of our CMS is having problems. Which means our sites, along with all of their other clients’ sites, are down.

My parents made their connection and now I must head to the airport.

I still have a headache today. (WTF)

And my fortune cookie said, “Begin… the rest is easy.”

Yeah, OK. 😛

My parents called me a little while ago. Their flight is delayed out of Seattle due to bad weather at their connecting airport: Philadelphia. It’s entirely possible that a) they might make their connection and everything will be dandy, b) they miss their connection and catch another flight later or c) they can’t get out until tomorrow, so they stay there overnight and I meet them in Philly.

Because, remember, we are taking a road trip to the middle of nowhere PA. And it was supposed to start tomorrow morning.

I still haven’t been able to shake the crazy dreams, or the headaches for that matter. And then last night I didn’t get to sleep until about 2AM. Fortunately, Bravo is running a West Wing Season Six marathon continuously… ahhhh. 🙂 It’s quite possible, I suppose, that I just wanted to stay up and watch. 😛

I do think the dreams are related to my parents coming to visit. I subscribe to the philosophy that it’s better to have never had, than to have had and lost. It’s much easier to live when you don’t know what you’re missing, in other words.

I love that my parents are coming, but every time they do, I’m reminded of how painful it is to live so far away. It’s one of the reasons I so rarely go home. Preventative medicine, shall we say.

And I know all of you will say “’tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all,” and I think that’s true for some… just not for me.

Oh, and Ellie’s doing fine. 🙂

Shot in the dark?
Hammerhead?
All-nighter?
Black Eye?
Coffee Suicide?
Cup o’ Crack?
Dead Man Walking?
Overdrive?

I prefer the term “red eye.” It’s a shot of espresso in a cup of regular drip coffee and it’s quite tasty.

This morning I stopped at my favorite local coffee shop. I have a cold weather drink and a hot weather drink. In the summer I’m a double iced espresso over ice, extra ice. In the winter, I’m a red eye.

It was cold this morning (still is), so I ordered a red eye. Two girls I didn’t recognize were working—and one was obviously new to the business. Holding the cup, she said, “OK, what’s that?”

“Oh,” I said. “Do you call it a ‘Shot in the Dark?’ It’s just a shot of espresso in a cup of drip coffee.”

The other girl looked at me and said, “It’s not on our menu.”

I looked up. It wasn’t. I smiled… “Um… OK.” I’m sure I looked confused.

“We have it,” she explained. “We just call it add a shot of espresso to your cup of coffee.”

“Long name… that must be why it’s not on your menu, huh?” I grinned. (Their menu is a small chalkboard.)

Less than amused, she said, “Well we’re not that fancy.” And walked away.

WTF did I say?!

And first of all, before any crazy coffee people jump on me, let me say: I’m from Seattle. I worked in coffee for almost seven years. I overtip and I know what I’m talking about. And I wasn’t being rude. 😛

Lovely people in the AM, hmm?

Hi. I am a cat owner and I suck and they should be taken away from me.

See, here’s the thing…

I thought I would give them a bath before my parents came to visit and my dad switched the shower head (right now it detaches). Seems logical, yes? Well… kinda. It’s a small shower and they really aren’t keen on the whole bathing thing.

But Izzie got done, no problem. A little crying on her part, but as long as I was talking or singing to her (I am weird, my cats are weird, deal with it), then she was fine.

Then came Ellie. She’s the smaller of the two, the one who only wants attention occasionally and really only to play fetch. She cried a lot. And she squirmed.

When we were almost done, she was thrashing about and caught one of her back foot’s claws in the drain. She struggled and something ripped and then there was a little bleeding.

I am the worst person in the world, aren’t I?

I have NO IDEA what to do and I wonder… should I take her to a vet? She’s walking OK, and there wasn’t much blood and I seriously feel like the most heinous human on the planet right now.

Somebody tell me what to do.

Should I wait for my dad (Thursday night) or should I take her to a vet?