The insider is still sick. She is not happy about that at all.

Technically, I feel better today than I did yesterday, so here’s to hoping that I feel better tomorrow than I do today. Otherwise the flight is going to be such a nightmare.

My mom made me go to the eye doctor today (I had an appointment and since I only go when I come home…). Anyway, they have these new eyedrops now called Reversal drops that are supposed to reverse the effects of the Dilation drops… well, within one hour as opposed to four to six. The lady told me that they would sting for five minutes, terribly, but then they would be fine.

I swear to god, there was crushed up jalapenos in those damn drops. My eyes burned for about ten minutes, and it wasn’t until I slept for four hours, and then took a shower with the steam in my eyes did the redness go away.

My point here is don’t let them give you the drops. Dilation isn’t that bad at all.

When you are deathly ill and dying, go to a salon and get a bikini wax. They jack up the heat in the room until it’s a steamy 80 degrees. You’d be amazed at how that really helps you breathe.

On the other hand, driving to and fro is not recommended, as closing your eyes, hacking up a lung and forgetting to go at a green light are all frowned upon by your fellow drivers… particularly all three together.

I’m now going to try and sleep, but it doesn’t look promising (due to the hacking). Both the strep test and the flu test came back negative, but my dad is sure I have something, so he sent a sputum culture in this morning. I just want somebody to give me drugs and fix me before I get on a plane Friday… in 44 hours.

Here is some funny stuff.

I have to go get a strep test now.

::sniff::

Although apparently there is an evil, terrible flu virus going around, that is so virulent the flu shot isn’t working. So I might have that… and my Dad might too. He is laying on the couch, all sick and grouchy.

We feel like ass and shit combined. 🙁

Update: no strep. Horrible test for that and the flu… ugh.

I am sick.
I want to die.
I am trying to believe, but I want to take a pill and pass quietly into the night.

Did I mention I was sick?

A Very Merry Christmas.

🙂

So far today: Dad has attempted to attack the cats with his new RoboRaptor, my sister’s boyfriend’s son had a bout of runny.. um.. and it got on the floor and there was a whole washing experience, to include pinning a pair of my dad’s old boxers onto the little midget, and teaching my sister how to use her computer is making me crazy.

That is all.

Santa breakfast = adults in costume performing plays (Frosty, Rudolph, Santa, cowgirls and a cowboy) and little children going apeshit over all of the above. I can’t wait to get the pictures from my cousin, lol.

After that we had lunch with a very old friend—mmm, sushi—shopped and came home, where we proceeded to make cornbread stuffing, pecan pie and cranberry salad. (Presents were wrapped, too.)

I was going to sleep in, but the Man woke me at 10:30… to tell me that it’ll be less than a week. 🙂 🙂 So now I’m up, drinking coffee, and trying to figure out how to handle an impossible (because it’s Christmas Eve, shit) task.

For several years (at least 10), my dad has made ornaments for my sister, mom and I. He always waits until Christmas Eve (no other time), and they’re always imaginative and silly and they landmark a specific thing that happened to us that year. For instance, when I was 12 I got my braces off and he went to the doctor (his buddy), got my old braces and made an ornament. (Yes, they were clean. Shut it.)

There are also many, many Jeeps on the tree… for the years my sister hit a schoolbus, a guardrail, another car.. and the time I hit my mom’s car. Anyway… for the past three or so years, my mom and I have been trying to make my dad one as well.

This year I was going to get a diecast model of his Jeep, attach the year, bill of sale (miniaturized—love computers!), etc., and hang that on the tree. (Christmas morning we all have to hunt amongst the branches to find what we believe is our particular ornament.)

But then I remembered that his mom passed away earlier this year (a year is a long time, give me a break), so now I’m flummoxed. I can’t get anything engraved (we did that the year my Nana died), and I don’t know what I would get to symbolize her anyway.

I’m heading to the hobby shop, hoping something will jump at me.

Have a lovely Christmas Eve everyone. 🙂

I just finished putting in the edits for the mammoth book.

It’s 3AM and I have to be up in about four hours… and this damn piece of shit is taking forever to upload to our server.

There was more shopping today… oh, and cousin, I got mom’s present from you, for you. 🙂 (I made my mom look at four different stores. It was a riot.)

We just got back from the first Christmas party of the year… for me, anyway. (I try to get out of as many as possible.)

It was there, at my godparents’ house, when I realized just how old I really am.

Their youngest is 15. I changed his damn diapers and now he has a girlfriend who’s 16 (cute as hell) and he just bought her, her first diamond for Christmas.

Dear sweet lord, when did I get this old?! (Did I mention he’s 6’1″ and still growing?)

The dentist was uneventful. Nurse Ratchet attacked my gums and caused serious puncture wounds, but alas, no cavities. Really the best part about her was when we were talking about where I live and I mentioned it was kinda “artsy,” to which she replied, “Oh are there a lot of gays? I don’t like a lot of gays.”

I accidentally bit her.

I worked in coffee. In Seattle. The gay people are my people.

I think she gathered from my less-than-impressed expression that I thought she was nuts, so she quickly followed with, “I just don’t approve of the homosexual lifestyle.”

Did I mention my parents chose the dentist?

Yup.

Last night I was planning to post about a) shopping with my mom, b) taking out the trash with my dad (truly is an experience, let me tell ya—he put on foul weather gear, to include a cowboy hat… oh boy), c) seeing my cousins (who are now PEOPLE—they are old and have girlfriends and lives and it’s very freaky and that makes me feel old) and d) plucking my dad’s eyebrows with my mom (I had to hold his face still… so much joy in my family, lol.)

However, I had an awful nightmare last night, just terrible. Someone was sending me weird notes. Then they got scary, and for some unknown reason, I didn’t tell anyone. Then, to make matters worse, the person took my cousins and sent me a note saying “Come and get them… but you can’t use your car.” So the place I was at, the woman let me borrow her car and my friend and I went after my cousins. But we didn’t know where to go, we just had to wait. At this point I told my dad and he was kinda freaked out, but not as much as me (typical). Anyway, long story short, she dropped them off there when I was with my dad at a pizza parlor (dunno), and it turned out to be one of my friends from college (more scary) and I threatened to kill her if she ever came near me or mine again.

Helloooo, that was a fun night.

I have to work now, then go to the dentist (whoopee).