Oh dear god, a 200 yard spider web.

It’s my own personal nightmare come to life. Gag.

**Update: The bloodwork came back and yes, she is in the early stages of renal failure. 🙁 However, he thinks with a special food and weekly rehydration, she’ll live for a couple more years. 🙂 My mom is very happy.
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My mom promised my sister and I, when we were young, that when we got a “real” house (my dad was in the military at the time) we could get a kitten.

The instant we moved off base and got our real house (with stairs, hence, real), we clamored for the promised pet.

That Christmas two little furballs were found in the laundry room and the two Himalayan kittens entered our lives.

When my sister moved out she ended up getting two kittens of her own and when I moved cross country, I did as well. By that time our babies were getting on in years and had been with their current vet for a decade, so my mom wouldn’t let me take them, lol. Truth is though, she absolutely adores them and couldn’t bear to part with them.

Both over the years have suffered from different health issues. Mine has a mega esophagus and has to eat standing up; my sister’s has had kidney issues.

Bonnie, mine, has been displaying some signs of more serious issues and my mom took her to the vet today.

They gave her intravenous fluids and are waiting on the bloodwork, but the vet says she’s in kidney failure. 🙁

I’m sad.

Bonnie is on the left and Precious is on the right. This picture was taken in 1989.

Right before my parents come to town I always get my car detailed. And it’s especially important now that Regina thinks cars are the best things in the world.

I got a call from the dealership I took it to about an hour ago. They wanted to put some emissions tags or something on it and I said, yes, please. Then they called me back. Did I know my tags were expired? They couldn’t put the emissions tags on it until I fixed that.

Confused, I got online looking for registration renewal in my state.

OK, online it says registration is good for two years, so since I got the car in ’05, I should be only a few months behind. Damn, why didn’t they contact me?

I go to renew online, and lo and behold, since it’s over three months expired, I’m not allowed.

So I call the DMV, whereupon I am directed to four separate automated lists (press 10 should be the suicide hotline). When I finally do get a person, she tells me that my registration did expire in May… of FREAKING 2006.

Shit, I think, wtf?

She tells me that in this state (which I now loathe and think should die) the registration renewal is sent to the town you live in, not you (already I’m thinking this is the stupidest thing ever) so that you can pay your taxes before you get your new tags.

Taxes? ‘Scuse me? I’m fucking moving to my own island with no damn taxes, is all I’m thinking at this point.

So I sigh, and call the town hall of where I lived last year.

And the tax lady tells me I owe $387 and it needs to be in cash and I should come today because interest is assessed at 18%. What. the. fuck.

You have to be kidding, I say to her.

No, we don’t take personal checks. [Figures I get a joker.]

Well, I said, I never received notice so I would like to know how to fight the interest. I will pay whatever the tax is, but I should not have to pay interest.

Oh you can’t fight that, everyone always pays the interest. And we did send out a notice.

To where? I never received one.

She reads off the address of my first apartment in Warren. The one I moved from in June of ’05.

I don’t live there anymore, I say. I haven’t lived there in years! (All the while fuming at the mean woman below me who, upon buying the house from her dad who loved me, kicked me out to move in her good-for-nothing nephew. Now the house is purple-not kidding-and his stupid giant truck is perpetually parked in the yard. Yeah, real keeper.)

Well that is the address we have on file and you have to pay this or you can’t get registration for your car. It’s not our fault you didn’t notify us when you moved.

I didn’t know I had too. I don’t even know what you people do. Why do I have to pay taxes to a town FOR A CAR?!

This conversation was not going anywhere, and at this point I was in tears.

The woman was now telling me that I should call my new town because I probably owe taxes there, too.

Great, I say. Thanks, bye.

And I hung up.

And proceeded to slam my fist into a wall. Good times all around.

Fortunately I owe the new town nothing… yet. I’ll get a notice in June. What the hell kind of sadistic practice is this to tax people when they get a new car?! Shouldn’t we be encouraging the economy, not penalizing people? What the hell?

So I did what everyone does in this situation (primarily everyone who can’t drink or smoke or do anything that makes it all go away)—I called my mom.

And through my tears raged about the government and how I didn’t want this car and I want my old one and oh my god, no WONDER people go into debt, what the hell!

Because the sum total of what I will be shelling out? Right around $500. For the taxes and the new registration, which won’t come for a month and if I get a ticket, I’ll have to pay that too.

How I haven’t gotten pulled over before this is beyond me. I almost wish I had, because then I would’ve had less interest.

Because they do interest like this: let’s say it was originally $50. And then I don’t pay for a month, so that’s $9 at 18% interest now that I owe. But then it gets more fun, because the interest isn’t on the original amount, oh no, it’s on the total due. So now it’s $59 plus 18% interest, so that’s $69.62.

.. So I just spent 10 minutes on an Excel sheet and I think it originally cost $35. THIRTY-FIVE FREAKING DOLLARS.

And now i owe $387.

That. is. bullshit.

Update: Apparently it was originally $245 and the tax lady was wrong about how interest was assessed.

Whatever, I still owe a ridiculous amount.

Sunday morning we woke to find Regina had an open sore on the top of one of her back paws. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a cyst that she had licked raw. Lovely, all around.

We had a fun trip to the emergency vet, where we learned that sometimes young dogs get these sort of cysts and that if it doesn’t go away on it’s own, she’d get to have surgery. But for now, ointment, antibiotics and.. drumroll please.. an Elizabethan collar. And yes, that is what they called it on the receipt.

She calls it hell.

It’s kinda cute though.. she reminds me of Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie, lol.

Best eBay description ever, as found by the Porkchop on Pajiba.

Six kids? I don’t think so!

The main problem with having a blog is feeling a need to always write something.. preferably once a day, but there are those who accomplish this once a week by detailing vivid stories for four screens.

A great majority of blogs aim toward a particular niche: cooks, moms, college kids, religious folk, designers, geeks, movie buffs, music aficionados, etc.

Sadly, my life is not vivid enough for four screens of copy and I don’t really have a niche, seeing as how I a) have no kids (two cats and an insane dog don’t count), b) only have the Chop to cook for (and he basically only likes two things, lol), c) am out of college and no one at work is very interesting, d) am not religious, e) am not a particular buff of anything and f) don’t like to blog about work (i.e., design or computer geekdom).

Boring, I know.

In a couple of weeks my parents are coming and I’m getting a liver biopsy. I’m not particularly looking forward to it, but hopefully it’ll finally give me a diagnosis.

My friend who got married last weekend has been in Cancun on her honeymoon and since the hurricane is quite close I’ve been trying to reach her to no avail. I’m sure telling their kids about getting evacuated on their honeymoon is going to be a great family story, lol.

Porkchop was down in NYC for 3.5 days, back here for 1 and is back down there again. Regina has moped non-stop and her whining is driving me insane.

I read several books while we were away, including Goodkind‘s latest installation, three books by Gregory Maguire, a newish John Irving and a newer Anita Shreve. All of whom are amazing writers.. get thee to a bookstore.

I have now read everything in this house and Amazon is calling my name. It’s not pretty. Anybody read anything interesting lately?

One of my favorite bloggers wrote her memoirs and has been emailing the chapters one at a time to those of us who requested them. Aside from being an awesome writer, she has an incredibly sad story with an incredibly happy ending and getting the chapters in my inbox has become my favorite time of the week.

Oh, and I just found out from an old friend that her sister made it to the LA cut for America’s Next Top Model.. she’s gorgeous and adorable and only 19. I remember when she was in 6th grade and completely gangly and goofy. Ugh, I feel old, lol.

E met J at a wedding about two years ago. I distinctly remember the first few conversations we had about him, mainly because I wanted to make sure he wasn’t a jerk (as her previous guy turned out to be) and because we were both intrigued by his persistence.

Which, obviously, paid off.

On the other hand, before we headed out there I was very uncomfortable about them getting married. I’ve met him a couple of times, but not nearly enough to get a feel for his character and they’ve been dating barely two years.

I kept telling the Chop, “It’s too soon! Why are they jumping the gun?!”

I think his reply was, “sex,” which, considering their religion, does make sense.

After being there, meeting some of his friends (some nice, some assholes), meeting his family (brother and sister, both incredibly nice) and hearing that her brother completely approved (aside from the fact that they would be having sex, LOL), I became much more comfortable about the match.

That being said, I’m still a little sad (in a good way) that she’s married. And I think it’s because the door to our childhood slammed shut this weekend and I just wasn’t prepared.

When I was seven I met my best friend and we’ve stayed incredibly close our entire lives (granted, we aren’t exactly ancient, but still).

Typically we’ve managed to reach all of our major life milestones together… glasses, braces, first boyfriends, first kisses and final boyfriends. But today she took a big step and married a really nice guy.

And watching your closest friend in life walk down the aisle is one of the most incredible moments in life.

We’re heading home now. We’ve a five hour drive (since my dad is doing the driving) and then an entire day of flying to look forward to tomorrow. Possibly this will be the longest weekend ever.

The Chop and I are now on the west coast, finally having our first actual vacation of the year.

Except for the whole wedding thing on Saturday, lol.

The trip was relatively uneventful. Our first flight was seriously delayed, and by the time we got to our connection, our seats had been reassigned. Which would be a problem, but they handed us two new tickets and we flew first class. Yeah baby.

Whilst the Chop enjoyed unlimited gin and tonics and a very attentive stewardess, I marvelled at a 3.6 oz Ben and Jerry’s container that they included with our meal. Has anyone else ever seen that? A mini, sealed B&J on a plane? Heaven.

Best things so far about being home: parents already went shopping and got all our favorites, mom has already handed out things I called ahead for from Costco, best pie ever from the cousin :D, seeing that my second cousins are actually growing up, hearing my dad say “I’m going to hurt you so bad” (lol, it’s hard to explain) and Wii bowling.

Yes, Wii bowling. It is the greatest, don’t knock it! I slaughtered my dad! And the Chop! 😀

Good times were had by all.