I just stumbled across something for my dad.
Something amazing.
Something he will adore.
The greatest present he will ever receive.
I give to you… Bacon Salt. 0 calories, kosher certified, vegetarian seasoning salt that makes everything taste like bacon (or so they say).
He will never be the same again.
It’s that time again… what the hell are people searching for to get to this site?
Basically, life has been busy and boring (odd, yes). Saturday the Chop and I fly to the West Coast to visit my family and so that I can be in a wedding. Where I get to wear the most hideous pink, tea length dress and white sandals. Gah. What you do for friends.
Also, this is probably the funniest thing I’ve read in awhile.
A crazy guy decided to visit all 171 Starbucks in Manhattan in one day. And he had coffee had most of them.
My being sick, as it turns out, has brought to light the fact that I (apparently) never really got better from last year.
Why? Because they ran a liver panel yesterday and surprise, surprise, my numbers are up again. Whee! Aside from the itching and a general drowsiness, I haven’t really noticed anything really amiss, so while it’s not a huge surprise, it definitely wasn’t something I was expecting.
On a fun note, Ben and Jerry’s is putting out a limited edition Beer and Donuts flavored ice cream for the Simpsons premiere in Vermont. Is it just me, or does that sound just a little bit tasty?
Also, the countdown to my-best-friend-since-childhood’s wedding is rapidly nearing the single digits, and I’m stuck. I have the perfect gift (a welcome-to-sex-virgin-girl! kit that I put together, involving lubes and vibes and books, etc.), but I want to write a little list of some kind. As in, The Top 10 Reasons Being Married is Awesome, or something along those lines.
So, to all of you people who are married (and preferably happy :P), list some reasons in the comments. I have a couple, but they are mainly along the lines of “Because you can have sex and not get in trouble with your religious parents” and “Because your problems are now his problems.” Hehe.
So the house doesn’t smell like chicken, which is awesome.
The dog is back and passed out, I’m still a smidge itchy, but no longer on meds and we’ve both stopped using eighty tissues a day.
All positives.
On the flip side, all three animals are still shedding like it’s 1000 degrees, the inside of the oven is quite frightening and we appear to have the ant problem the landlord mentioned by the back door. Which irritates me on a very deep level.
And now my boss is IMing me, wanting to know if I’m available next week for an “outing.” (Not THAT kind perverts.) Some sort of all-office-outing.
Where, I say.
You’ll find out! I’ll mark that you’re coming.
How did I get sick two weeks before this “outing?”
For the past week, the Chop and I have been incredibly sick. So sick, in fact, that my bilirubin has risen and I’ve been scratching incessantly again. Lovely, no?
His sister was a bit sick when she was visiting (nowhere near how sick we’ve been), and since we work from home, we know she infected us with some sort of MidWest disease. Bitch. :p
Right now it’s Sunday. He’s been sick since Monday when she left and me since Tuesday. Wednesday I couldn’t even get out of bed and we’ve gone through a bottle of NyQuil, two of DayQuil and four boxes of tissues. Not to mention the large quantity of lovely Atarax itch meds I’ve consumed. It’s been a blast and a half.
The best part was yesterday, when I decided I felt a little better and thought, “I should turn on the self-cleaning oven. That way I’ve cleaned something today without actually having to move from the couch.”
It seemed like a brilliant plan.
Until our oven was belching smoke, the fire alarm was going off and we were tearing and hacking worse than before.
Apparently you should be sure to adequately clean the chicken grease that bubbled out of the pan when you were baking a chicken before you turn on the self clean. (I have all sorts of issues with this, firstly being, HELLO, it’s self-cleaning? Self-cleaning is selective? WTF? But I’m still sick and don’t have the capacity to bitch anymore.)
We turned off the clean, but the smoke managed to fill the house and now I’m almost sure that if you come in my house after not being here for awhile, there will be the subtle undertones of burnt chicken grease. Lovely, I’m sure. I can only hope that vast quantities of Febreze and candles will eventually make it go away.
I say eventually because we decided letting the house air out awhile while we dropped Reggie off at Daycare for an overnight (we have been quite lax with playtime and walks… what can I say, we’ve barely been able to move all week) was a good idea. Sadly, when we got back home after dropping her and making a pharmacy run for more tissues and DayQuil the odor was still quite apparent.
I can’t smell it now (honestly it’s amazing we could smell it at all, considering how plugged we are—I’m sure that just tells you how bad it is), but we’re bringing Reggie home later this evening, so I’m sure I’ll know it’s bad if she starts chewing on the furniture and chases after the cat’s tails thinking they are drumsticks.
Should be entertaining.
Ever since I’ve had to cut way back on caffeine, I’ve been drinking more Dunkin’ Donuts. Weird, but a half iced coffee, half milk concoction just seems to go down better.
There’s a DD near where I work, the last one I pass before I arrive, where the drive-thru window is where you order. They’ve never had an outdoor speaker set-up, so every time you go there, you tell someone in person what you want, pay her, then drive up to pick it up from the next window.
Oddly enough, it’s one of the fastest DDs I have ever gone too. But my favorite part is that the people at both windows are actually nice. And happy. They smile, they say thank you and you’re welcome (and they mean it) and they remember you.
It’s nice. I think if every drive-thru chain was like that, they’d make twice the money.
So this is what my blog posts have come down too.. Dunkin’ Donuts. (Incidentally I hate Rachel Ray and her new campaign for them, but I hear she’s getting divorced so I feel bad for her.)
I debated talking about a new yoga place that I’m loving, but I haven’t quite figured out if the instructor is hitting on me or not (she keeps smacking my ass, wtf? it’s YOGA) and so I’m reserving my tales until further evidence has surfaced.
Or until she actually makes a move. Which would be very odd, since she knows I have a boyfriend. (It’s entirely possible she is one of those people who wants to convert the other side.)
The worst thing about having company is 1) I have nothing interesting to write about and 2) I don’t really have time anyway.
Beach, a little shopping, lots of Project Runway, lol, and not much else.
Tonight we’re partying at a geodesic dome, complete with potato gun, lots of pot being smoked and vast quantities of alcohol.
You know, the everyday stuff.
Edited to add: Also, go watch this video on the NYTimes website. It’s funny.
Hi, I am bored and the ONLY ONE working from anyone at my office, which is BS.
So I’m having fun. 😀
85% Geek
So I am taking quizzes.
And I have retained some knowledge of science, amazingly.
Whaa…? I should’ve at least got a PG-13 rating. They only noted bitch and crappy (really?), and missed all the good bits.