The Porkchop and I left my parent’s home Friday evening at 9PM. We got home yesterday at 5:30PM.

What, you ask, could have caused us to travel for twenty hours?

Having our second flight cancelled, and being stuck at Dulles International Airport (in D.C.) for SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS.

We crashed when we got home, needless to say, hence the posting at 8:50AM on a Sunday.

Longest trip ever.

Also, I still have no computer, where the email for this site and all my other accounts reside, so if you’ve emailed me, I’m not ignoring you!

sidenote to wendy: we didn’t make it up there yesterday! So sorry! When are you leaving and is the green hutch still there? 😀

I just found twisted pleasure condoms and lubricant in my parent’s bedroom.

I cannot describe the sheer horror I am feeling right now.

Must. go. die.

So let’s see….

a) the Porkchop is well-liked by the family (surprise, surprise).
b) the family is driving me crazy (again, surprise, surprise).
c) the laptop has crapped out (possibly for the final time, as I cannot get power to it, due to some sort of short in the computer) and will probably cost me upwards of $600 to fix.*
and
d) I burned the utter shit out of my finger (whilst making my dad bacon.. surprise, surprise), the blister is the size of a quarter and I’ve been using lidocaine patches on it every few hours.

but…

I got laid, so all is right with the world. 😉

Have a very Merry Christmas Eve everybody!

* Which basically means I cannot use my RSS reader to keep up with everyone’s blogs, and I am going absolutely batshit!

There’s a woman who works upstairs with us as a freelance design person. Typically she’s almost never here, but for the few crunch weeks right before a deadline… in other words, she’s here now.

I have two problems with her: one, she’s so FREAKING loud and two, she takes tons of personal calls here in the open room of FOUR people and we have to listen.

And today… ugh. Today, they sound like porn.

Mickey’s had four smoke breaks since 9AM just to get away from it.

Sadly, I’m over here without my laptop of beautiful and loud music (seeing as how my power cord has chosen today of ALL days to bite the dust), trying to hum anything in my head that will prevent my ears from her abuse.

It’s not working.

“You’re driving me insane and I will NEVER give you a URL of a site I’m working on again. Seriously.”

“No, I’m not kidding, a two-drink maximum? How is that a party?”

“If you don’t quit poking around on the site, I’m going to block your IP address permanently.”

“Would it help if I talked slower?”

“Have you seen the new Mac commercial? The one where PC gives Mac a GUI C++ Book? I’m NOT PC. I don’t do heavy-duty programming. Think of me as a Mac, but wearing the suit of PC and dating PC’s cousin, Web Developer Dude.”

Ah, the joys of morning meetings.

Did I mention that working for my boss is like working for a slightly slow puppy dog?

One of the owners, the one who I mainly work for, is out sick today and won’t be coming to the Christmas party.

Two of the sales people are out sick as well.

And Mickey, the guy who sits up here with me, hasn’t shown up today at all.

Tomorrow, two-thirds of the office is taking the day off, presumably to recuperate from whatever they do tonight at the party.

I drive three hours to and from work every day, and I wasn’t planning to attend this party. Go, and then get home around what, 10? 11? Then get up at 7AM tomorrow to drive back up here to work? No thanks.

But they’re all trying to guilt me, with sad eyes and extended lower lips. “Don’t you want to be one of us?” they ask me. “We hardly ever see you, since you’re upstairs [thank the dear, dear sweet Lord] and we want to get to know you better.”

And did I mention… I somehow signed a contract that says we have a two-drink minimum maximum at office functions and conferences paid for by the company?

Me, an entire gaggle of sales people, and only TWO drinks?

What are they crazy?

I’m now up here trying to make myself get a cold… but it’s 50 degrees outside and there isn’t any wind.

Argh.

Nine purses, two wallets, two pairs of sunglasses and one completely dead Porkchop… that is what I accomplished this morning on Canal Street.

We walked the 40 or so blocks down, but cabbed back. Which was necessary, but kinda sad since the cab drove by a restaurant called “Burgers and Cupcakes,” and it had a giant, pink-frosted cupcake on the awning.

Fortunately for the no-longer-fully-functioning-Porkchop, it wasn’t “Sushi and Cupcakes,” so I didn’t make the cabbie stop.

Fortunate also for me, since he might’ve disowned me at that point, lol.

I like CNet. It’s entertaining, smart and I love how readers can comment on stories.

So I’ve been following the story of James Kim since he and his family were reported missing last week. And I was so happy they found his wife and daughters on Monday, and so sad when they found his body today.

It appears that he, like his father who hired helicopters and then purchased and had dropped several care packages along the route they believed Kim was traveling in Oregon, was willing to do whatever it took to save his family.

They stayed in the car for several days, burning tires for heat, before he set out on Saturday, looking for help. He traveled eight miles, and sadly ended up less than a 1/2 mile from the car.

He was a good reporter, highly entertaining, and obviously a good father.

I was really hoping they’d find him alive and it’s so sad they didn’t.

Update: CNet has a video up. I think one of the reasons I liked him was ’cause he’s a little bit nerdy, kinda like me.

Fun things at work:

Hearing I’m going to need to spend way too much money on programming customization, yet knowing my boss will want it anyway, for less. (And hearing… But.. uh.. why can’t YOU just do it?)

Working on a computer in a room that’s around 60 FUCKING degrees. (My hands are numb.)

Realizing I made more money working at a coffee shop when I was in high school than what I’m making base salary. (Nice and depressing.)

Having conference calls with PC’s ex-wife (and her boss and some random newbie), who’s actually very nice on the phone (but I wonder.. what is she actually thinking) and listening to her mention the PC and trying not to do so myself (but ending up doing it anyway).

Good times.

I smoked a cigarette.

DON’T JUDGE ME!

(rather, send me presents. I’m having a bad day. 🙁 )

The Chop and I got a Christmas tree yesterday.

It’s kinda short, but perfect for the size of our apartment.

Sadly, it’s also a little bare, as somehow I forgot I have very little ornaments… eight, to be exact (and one is a glass octopus with two legs broken off).

See, last year I had a couple dozen white, gold and silver glass balls that covered my tiny little, pre-lit tabletop tree.

And then, one night, Ellie knocked that tree off the table and onto the hard floor and the next morning, I had four little glass balls left.

So this year, after we put up the lights, I hung those four little balls, the octopus, two snowmen and the tiara (on the top), and realized that our tree was pathetic.

Then I added the candy canes I don’t like (JellyBelly makes a cotton candy one, but it comes in a pack with cherry cherry and pear, so there are 16 to hang) and voila! it almost looks like a real tree.

A little.

The tiara is a little weird; I need to go to a store, lol.