It’s only logical that less than 12 hours after my parents leave, I get a leak in my ceiling. I mean, why not?

The upstairs tenant left water in his sink (or something) and it leaked through my ceiling. Lovely. Fortunately, everyone is congenial and so the landlord will spackle, plaster, paint? my ceiling tomorrow.

My apartment is back to being very quiet. The cats are ridiculously pleased and I am quite happy to be in my own bed.

It’s been quite cold these last few days—39—and I’ve had to turn the heat on and put the electric blanket on my bed. 🙂

I can’t wait for it to snow…

My parents are leaving in a few hours. Apparently we’re doing a marathon-stay-up-until-we-leave deal… they have to be at the airport at 430AM. Ugh. So we’re watching reruns of Law and Order, lol.

It was really fun to have them here. Once we got over the initial stress of going to PA and dealing with all the shit that entails, we really had a good time. 🙂

My house is very, very clean—thanks to my mom and a new vacuum. 😛 And my dad fixed my shower door, installed new curtains, put in my new showerhead, installed all the screens in my windows and put together all of my new tools.

I’m very sad they’re leaving so soon—they’re debating coming back for Thanksgiving or Christmas, though…

My dad’s hardly ever allowed to go shopping by himself. Mainly because he a) tends to come home with too much random stuff, b) spends to much money on random stuff and c) forgets what he was supposed to buy in the first place.

His latest toy—which he hasn’t purchased because my mom would have killed him—is the Roboraptor from Radio Shack. He wants to use it to chase the cats at home. :::eyes rolling:::

Anyway, the other day he was at Walmart buying a vacuum cleaner (which he subsequently took back because it was seriously used… then the people at Walmart thought he hadn’t paid for it and was returning it, etc., so they gave him grief and after returning it, he left and went to Target… vowing to never, ever step foot in Walmart again)—and he saw a movie bin and decided to paw through it. He came home with a vacuum cleaner and four movies, but without the Diet Coke. 😛

One of the movies he got was Alexander.

“It was a really great price,” he said. “I couldn’t pass it up.”

So after cooking lobster tonight (yum), we decided to pop in a movie.

Alexander was first.

I couldn’t manage to jump to the menu on the DVD.

It was just a “Making of” feature.

My dad asks, snickering, “Did you put in the wrong DVD?”

So I went over to check and see… and lo and behold, I did not.

In fact, I had put in the right DVD. The only one he brought home.

It wasn’t my fault he didn’t read the DVD case.

That read, in bold type, right on the top of the cover:

EXCLUSIVE PROMOTIONAL DISC
DOES NOT CONTAIN THE FILM

My mom and I were convulsing with laughter.

Of course, that could be partially caused by the large quantities of vodka and rum we have consumed.

hehe 🙂

My dad is watching E-Ring. It’s a new Pentagon-based drama with Benjamin Bratt in it and my dad has never seen it.

Every time they mention a weapon or helicopter, my dad goes into an “Oooh,” and then I get to hear a short story about when he was in such and such and those helicopters (the Spector) saved his life. He’s saying, “It has a cannon on the back and it has a vulcan mounted on it and it can fire 100 rounds a second.”

He has this giddy grin on his face—he really needed to have boys. He needs a son, lol.

——————–

Earlier today we were heading to lunch and my mom mentioned that dad had bought me a toolbox. An actual toolbox, not the cardboard box I had been using… 😛

I was laughing, and he said, “Well now when people come over and need a hammer, you’ll be able to find it.”

I replied, “Oh well the hammer is right by my bed. Just in case, you know.”

And he rolled his eyes and said, “Oh I moved that and replaced it with a boot knife.”

Then I rolled my eyes.

“I also put one in the kitchen and in the living room.”

“Dad,” I said, “The hammer would’ve been fine. But anyway it’s a very safe area and I’m not concerned.”

He shook his head. “No, the knife. A hammer could be snatched and used to beat you with. It’s much harder to wrestle a sharp knife from your hand.”

It was about this time that he mentioned he had been planning our next vacation…

He wants us to go to a gun training camp in Nevada for a week, it’s called Frontsight. For firearms training.

He said, “I’m thinking it’s a Christmas present for everybody.”

—I couldn’t remember what the site was called, so I asked him. Then as we were talking about it and I was laughing, he said, “Hey, I thought everyone would appreciate it, but fine…”

To which I responded, “Dad, you’re just a blog posting a day, do you know that?”

He’s cracking up as I finish this. 🙂

—————–

We had lunch at a fabulous little Portuguese restaurant. They’ve never had Portuguese food, and the steak plate and the Shrimp Mozambique was a huge hit.

So were the homemade hot peppers and bread.

We got some of both to go, lol.

The coworker will be so pleased. 🙂

I forgot to mention this yesterday, what in all the excitement of my parents ripping apart my apartment, etc., but my trashcan was missing again on Monday evening.

WTF people. Seriously.

It wasn’t my landlord and it was left on my porch yesterday afternoon, dirty, once again, with some sort of mud.

My dad would like to stay another week and have a stakeout, complete with weapons, motion detectors and pizza.

Alas, he cannot, as they leave on Saturday.

So he’s doing something else to it. I have no idea what, but he’s “formulating a plan of attack.” :::eyes rolling:::

“You need a man. Make sure when you find one, he likes to clean.”

Said in response to my, “Mom, the door locks just fine. I don’t live in NYC and I don’t need six locks.”

Sweet, I know.

Never, ever, ever think you can work at home when your parents are visiting.

Mother of god.

I am in my guestroom/office, holed up with both my cats (as they don’t like anyone but me), desperately attempting to work.

I kept getting interrupted with questions, etc., so I finally made it perfectly clear that I need to work uninterrupted.

They are in my kitchen, all of ten feet from me (the doors are shut), having decided to REARRANGE my kitchen furniture… because they think it will be better.

I liked my kitchen.

They are now talking to each other re: a) I haven’t cleaned my vacuum cleaner in ages (according to my mom), and I must have an entire cat in there, and b) arguing about where the best place is to put my microwave.

Kill me.

I am exhausted.

I drove almost 500 miles today. I’ve been up since 7 and it’s almost midnight. I want to go to bed.

My dad slept most of the way and when we got back into town, around 9PM, he wanted to stop at Home Depot. An hour later we were home. Now he has taken apart my shower door. I asked him not to, I want to shower and go to bed. Did I mention I have to work in the morning?

No, no, he said. It won’t take long and it needs to get done.

Kill me. Please. Someone.

My dad is driving me batshit.

Mom and I are ready to leave him with the neighbors.

We slept in today. That’s one thing I know I learned from my parents… how to sleep late. 🙂 Seeing as how it was about noon, my mom suggested we eat hoagies for lunch. The best place in the world to get hoagies is this tiny little town in PA, where you call in your order to the American Legion. Since we aren’t members, we then drive around back and go in through the kitchen to pick them up. My mom won’t eat hoagies anywhere else but here. Something about the best bread and hot peppers in the world. 🙂

The Legion was having a gun show, so my dad decided he’d go in and look around while my mom and I went back to the house to eat. He bought knives and debated a few guns. He’s an Army man, Ranger, Green Beret, etc. Apparently, when he was waiting to hear about his acceptance to medical school, he told my mom if he didn’t get in, he was going to be a professional soldier. I learned that this afternoon, sitting at an old kitchen table with my mom, munching on hoagies.

It’s easy to talk to my mom… particularly when she’s not stressed out about work. Somehow her hometown makes her reminisce. I’ve never really heard the entire story of how my parents met, how he proposed, when they lived together, etc., so I asked. And she will always tell us if we ask—it’s one of the things I love best about her. She never lies or tries to hide anything.

My parents lived together for two years before they got married, and that’s a real sore spot for both of them—it’s exacerbated now because my sister lives with her boyfriend back home in WA. Being Christians now, that’s a big no-no… but my mom didn’t give me the religion perspective. Instead, she explained why it was hard for her and their relationship… the revelation about the career soldier thing was explained because it hurt her so deeply. Being a career soldier kinda eradicates plans for a wife and a family—to her, he was saying she wasn’t as important as medical school, etc. The day he got accepted, they made plans for the wedding.

They’ve been married for 27 years, through good times and bad, and they’d never survive without each other.

Then again, my dad was shooting spit wads at me through his straw at the restaurant this evening… he might not live for much longer. 😛

There was a tractor parade. I think it was sponsored by John Deere, lol.

My mom kept smacking my dad and I because he kept looking at me and then pointing, “Look.. I think, I think it’s another John Deere.” We were laughing hysterically.

The tiny new coffee shop (oh please) tried to kill me with my double espresso. It was so indescribably bad.

There were booths set up selling very odd things, including toe socks… (thought of you, Harley), Maryland crab cakes (I tried a bite and almost gagged), flea market-type things and pulled pork sandwiches…

I have pictures. And you will die.

Once we get back from dinner, I’ll upload them. 🙂