I believe I’ve maybe slept 16 hours in four days. I am beyond exhausted and have slipped into crazy manic person mode. Which means I’m a) completely bonkers and b) incapable of driving a moving vehicle.

Hence the shredded tire and scratched wheel well that now adorn my car. Apparently trying to back out a long vehicle (Flex), in the dark, when it is full to the brim with people is not in the manic person’s skill set.

It’s all very sad for me, but fortunately this guy was adorable enough to make me feel better.

My awesome husband made pancakes this morning. Then he put the Peanut down for a nap and went to take one himself, sending the rest of us off north.

We broke up the five hour drive with an awesome lunch of poutine and peanut butter frosted cupcakes (super healthy), then after dinner with my dad’s new CEO, we surprised him with a german chocolate cake and whiskey to celebrate his 60th birthday.

So far this trip is going to cost five pounds, lol.

We picked up my sister and her boyfriend at the airport today (they’re in town to also help my parents find a house), then headed to lunch at Sweet Cheeks BBQ near Fenway. It was awesome – and we were all so full that dinner didn’t occur until 10PM. And it was the leftovers, lol.

On the way home we encountered a pack of wild turkeys, one of whom decided that crossing the road in front of me seemed like a great plan. Fortunately I had a side seat driver and a back seat driver! 😛 (It did help though, as seconds before it appeared, I got something stuck in my eye and didn’t see them coming.)

I get to drive us five hours north tomorrow. Whee!

Our son has a death wish. Whenever he sees cars, his first inclination is to walk/run toward them, only stopping when we scoop him up, or plant ourselves firmly in his path.

Nothing distracts him from his goal.

I can’t think of anyone I know whose parents don’t drive them crazy at least some of the time. When I was younger, I used to think my parents should win an award for being the most irritating parents on the planet.

Once I moved away they became easier to handle. Don’t like what they have to say? Don’t talk to them for a few days. Not interested in their suggestions? Put the phone on mute and have a perfectly pleasant conversation with someone else. Thinking about moving back to their area? Go visit for a week and swiftly change your mind and thank your lucky stars you live 3000 miles away.

Our relationship has evolved over the years, but more so now that I have a child. Or, as my mom puts it, now that I have “provided them with a grandchild.” The Chop and I look forward to them coming to visit and playing, feeding, napping, etc., the Peanut. My mom could spend hours with him on Skype, watching him climb around, jabber and reading books. We’ve become second fiddle to him, which is fine and dandy, because frankly everyone has become second fiddle to him for us as well.

Unfortunately the byproduct of this is the constant mention of us moving back there (not happening in this lifetime). Ah the guilt trips, they’re awesome!

The Voice premiered tonight and I am SO in love. I’m also pretty tanked, so perhaps I’m watching through vodka-colored glasses… but it’s really good. Although Carson Daly as the host.. I dunno, was Ryan unavailable? It’s awesome because a) there are no bad singers, b) Cee Lo is adorable and c) I just love music anyway.

We took the not-really-wee-anymore Peanut on a walk today, one of his favorite activities, and for the first time he fell asleep in the Bjorn. Which was nice, since he needed a nap desperately. Then after dinner he had such a violent diaper we had to clean off his onesie. Entertained? Ready to have a baby of your very own? Interested in babysitting? CALL ME! He’s cute, he giggles constantly and he LOVES being entertained. 😉

The Chop and I had a “very baby” New Year’s Eve, spending it down south with our friends who also have a new baby (he’s 3.5 months older than the Peanut). This meant the babies played, ate and slept while we drank, played board games and generally had a hilarious time. It also meant that the Peanut woke up around 2AM. (We were still awake, fail number 1.) We went to bed around 3, but the Peanut stayed up until 4… fail number 2. And then he was up again at 530, and then 615, and so on, until I got up with him at around 8… fail number 3. After breakfast and another board game, the Chop and I came home and I promptly took a four hour nap… win!

A pregnancy, a baby, a friendship rekindled, a flood and loads of visitors made 2010 an incredibly interesting, stressful, insane, happy, amazing and overwhelming year.

Top Favorites of 2010

1. The Peanut! We adore him. He doesn’t sleep much (’cause he’s a robot), but he’s an amazing, adorable and happy baby. I’ve taken over a thousand photos (actually probably more, and omg, that’s insane), loads of videos and am still constantly amazed that we made him.
2. Being married to the Porkchop. They say a true test of marriage is having kids, so perhaps the ultimate test is having one before your first anniversary. I can’t imagine anyone I’d rather be married too or raise a baby with – we’re still as happy and in love as we were when we met.
3. Finding out I was pregnant. We were shocked and it took us a few days, but it was a pretty awesome surprise. Also, telling my parents 🙂
4. Finding out an old friend was also pregnant, reconnecting and becoming fast friends again. We missed you guys and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather be pregnant and bitchy with — or moms and awake at 4am ichatting with. I can’t wait to watch our sons grow up together. 🙂
5. Having so many friends and family visit. If I’d have known all it took was a baby to get people to visit in droves, I’d have had one years ago, lol. It was amazing having so much help and showing him off.
6. Going to my parent’s for Christmas with the Peanut. They adore him and we got some much needed rest.
7. The Chop’s sister getting married! She had one not-so-good engagement years ago that crushed her, and seeing her so happy has been awesome.

Top Bummers of 2010

1. The great flood. Stupid freaking flood that wrecked our basement. Granted we met a great contractor, and increased the value of our house, but what a nightmare five months it caused.
2. Pregnancy, wtf. Pregnancy is a) hard, b) sucky and c) excruciating. He was definitely 100% worth it, but oy. Hard shit.
3. Not going on our honeymoon to Italy. We scheduled it for March of 2011, but now we’re leaving the Peanut with my parents… a whole other set of concerns, lol. As in, can I leave my almost 6-month-old while I go for two weeks to a foreign country? We’ll see!
4. Labor. Wow. I dunno how people do it more than a couple of times. I think after two or three I’ll be all set. Overwhelming and excruciating, it was the worst pain I have ever felt. And it went on and on and on, lol.

The good 100% outweighs the bad. I am overwhelmingly grateful and thankful every day.

We’re currently having our shower re-tiled (there was a crack, which led to a leak, which led to a duct tape patch job until the contractor could get to it – thank god I have more than one bathroom, otherwise FML), and every morning at about 830-9, our contractor shows up. It’s nice, except that half the time we’re still in pajamas (Chop always is) and half the time the Peanut is sleeping… out in the living room, after having been up since 5, but still sleeping.

Sadly ripping out tile and re-installing it isn’t a quiet job, or surprisingly, a quick one. They started last Friday, so it’ll be at least a solid six days before all is said and done. Of course, we did have to bring in a plumber because I wanted to change the fixtures. Apparently there are valves for each particular company (Symmons, Pegasus, etc.), and one has to have that particular valve installed in order to match up the fixtures. So if you switch to Pegasus fixtures from Symmons ones, you have to bring in a plumber to change out the valve. Yeah. Who knew?

I know you’re thinking, just get Symmons fixtures, but they are all kind of blah… except for the bronze I wanted. Where the shower combo was $500. WTF. So the other bronze I found that was $150? Worth bringing in the plumber. All the fixtures I got (including towel bar, robe hooks, shower curtain rod, grab bar and shower/bath combo = $330. The same in Symmons? $1200.

Why does this matter? It doesn’t. But this is my life now. Home all day with the Peanut, doing work when I can and dealing with contractors. I know, you’re SO jealous. 😛

Things I’ve learned so far:

• Too much vodka will make you feel very, very good. Then very, very bad. Combine that with fresh citrus-type fruit juice, and you’ve screwed the pooch for two days.
• One should elope. No matter what you do or say, your mom will commandeer the wedding. Elope while you can.
• Working for yourself is awesome. Until you want to take a vacation, or have a long weekend, or a baby, or a wedding… then you’re screwed.
• Planning on getting pregnant? Pregnant already? Take a vacation. Now. You might think that it will be too much of a hassle, but trust me, you haven’t experienced hassle yet.
• Having a baby before your first anniversary is definitely an experience. Don’t do it if you haven’t been together very long and/or haven’t been getting laid regularly. You won’t know what being married is like… being married with kids is a vastly different animal.
• Moving across the country to a place you love is perfection… until you have a baby and you realize that having family around might be really helpful.
• Pregnancy sucks. Also labor. It will be worse and hurt worse than you expect… for both of you. You have not felt pain. Plus the hormones afterward are a nightmare.
• Sleep is magical. Sleep in, sleep late, go to bed early, etc. Get it while you can, because if you a) get older, b) get pregnant or c) have a kid, you will never get as much as you want again. Ever.
• Having a great camera is key. Particularly one that can also take video. One of my favorite mementos from our trip to Ireland is a video of me driving a tiny car in the country. 😀 A smart phone is good too… especially if you have kids and there are grandparents involved. My mom now expects a picture every morning.
• Visiting Santa at Christmastime with an infant is a freaking nightmare. Prepare for everything.
• Children require constant stimulation and attention. Want to get some work done? Invest in every type of baby toy imaginable. Particularly the play mats with things that move and mirrors. And mobiles. I’ve currently reached the end of the attention span of a two month old.

We took the Peanut for his first official visit to see Santa this weekend. Unfortunately Santa was outside the entire time, in 35 degree weather, and I was wearing flip-flops. Sigh. The Peanut stayed quite warm, covered in blankets, but momma froze her freaking ass off. You’d think being a parent would mean your judgement improved, but oh no, that would make too much sense.

See, when the basement was ruined and then fixed, all of my shoes were down there. And they are all now covered in ick and I refuse to touch them. So yeah, I gotta go buy some shoes… but I’ve been a little busy (ha ha). So now it’s freezing cold outside and I keep wearing flip-flops because all of my other shoes are no good. What’s really sad is that everyone else had hats, coats, gloves and they were jumping up and down (we waited outside in a line… not the brightest idea) — and I had on a sweater and flip-flops.

Being a parent has fried my brain.