September 23rd, 2010

ah yes, the twin comment, awesome, thank you

It’s been over nine months and I’ve finally managed to legally change my name. I hyphenated, but of course, and yet it’s taken me ages to a) get the marriage license, b) get to the social security office, c) get to the DMV and d) get to the bank. I actually think men instituted this bullshit system because of the shit we put them through during wedding planning, lol. Surprisingly the DMV was a piece of cake—I actually hadn’t finished filling out the paperwork before they called my number. The bank, on the other hand, took two very long, very irritating hours. Who knew changing your name and putting someone else on your account was so much work?

For even more fun, when I went to the post office to drop off a package, the woman behind the desk asked if I was having twins. I chuckled and said, uh no. And she said, oh my! Well you’re just all belly! And it’s huge! And then she must’ve realized she sounded rude, because she apologized… while calling someone from the back to come see my giant stomach. Kill me now. I totally get why women used to go into “hiding” during the last few weeks of their pregnancy. I realize, yes, I am really sticking out—I am 39 weeks pregnant today after all—but seriously, rude much?

They said it best on Let’s Panic About Babies!

Here’s the thing: the last month of pregnancy sucks balls and there’s nothing you can do about it but have a good cry. There, there, this will all be over soon. Here, I think I have an Altoid in my purse.

My god, you’re huge.