November 6th, 2006sight and smell
My last present from the Chop was tickets to a Death Cab for Cutie concert this weekend (opened by Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, who are very good and someone you should check out).
The music was great, but the entertainment came from all sides. Young high schoolers, there with parents, gossiping about so-and-so who came with such-and-such and OH MY GOD, what is she wearing… college students, rocking out, trying to appear as if they aren’t having the same conversation the high schoolers are having with their friends about so-and-so… and the Chop’s personal favorite, the crazy woman and her daughter.
They sat next to us.
The mom, who was in her early 50s (I’d guess), was wearing the clothes and jewelry of a 20-something, but that wasn’t the problem. The problem was the perfume.
They arrived in a cloud of muskrat perfume, which then settled like smog over five rows. Eventually I thought it had mellowed down, then she moved… as she was wont to do, seeing as how her and her daughter (maybe? probably in her late 20s) rocked out to Death Cab (um, emo anyone?) like they were at a metal band in a mosh pit.
The moves were somewhere between disco, hip hop and insane gyrating. It was a real treat for the Chop, who sat next to them. lol
The best part was that we were in the sixth row… which, as we found out Saturday, was totally necessary. Seeing as how the Porkchop hadn’t been to an optometrist in several years and his vision, with his glasses, was 20/80.
It says something when the doctor walks out with him, looks pointedly at me, and says, “He is NOT allowed to drive. It would be illegal for him to do so.”
20/80, in case you don’t know, is very, very bad.
so i gather now would not be the time to trust his answer when you say “hunny, does this make my ass look fat?” but definately the time to switch his shiny laptop with yours.
oh and you missed English’s witticism with the tried and true jokes of turkey meat. “you a leg man or a breast man?” he said neither, so i squinted at him as said, “are you saying you’re a thigh man?!” to which his response of “no, i’m big butt man.” garnered laughs and gasps. yea. i think i still love him.
Comment by wendykat — November 6, 2006 @ 2:48 pm
Sounds like the indescribable joy of being at the gym, on an elliptical, next to someone who apparently considers showering and the use of deodorant to be beneath them. In the summer. With the oscillating fans on.
And they grunt.
Comment by Jen — November 6, 2006 @ 5:52 pm
I’d say something, but have you seen a white boy dance?
Glass houses…glass fricken houses…
Comment by MooKe...Uh...LuCow — November 7, 2006 @ 4:50 am