August 22nd, 2006condoms, duh
My momma and I were talking the other day and I mentioned that I was seeing someone and oh, btw, since you’re coming to town in a few weeks, I thought maybe you could meet him. Dinner, you know?
She was a little quiet, but said OK, rapidly followed by, I hope your dad likes him.
Yeah, no pressure right?
She called me yesterday.
“What are you doing for birth control?”
No hello, no how’s it going… just straight for the jugular.
“Hi mom. How’re you doing? I’m doing fine. Why are you asking me about birth control?”
“Well you can’t use it and you’re seeing someone so I’m just assuming and what are you doing?”
“Um, well a) who says we’re sleeping together and b) I guess I’m going to use condoms, seeing as how pills and such are out of the question.”
“Condoms aren’t 100% effective you know and ….”
“Yes mom I know, but neither is birth control.”
“You aren’t ready to have a baby yet and condoms don’t always work and abstinence is the only effective birth control method and…”
“Mom, I’m almost 24. I’m not looking to have a baby anytime soon, but at least I’m not 16. I could handle it if I had too.”
She continued with the abstinence speech.
“Mom, did you abstain? OK then.”
“You and your sister just refuse to learn from the mistakes of your mother.”
Sigh.
“Mom, can you just chill? Do you now see why I don’t tell you things? All you’re doing is making yourself and me upset. I won’t be abstaining, just so we’re clear, and I plan to use condoms and if I get pregnant (sweet LORD not for a little while) I can handle it.”
“How do you know he’s the one you want to have kids with anyway? Or would even be around?”
“Geez mom, I hope I know how to pick them better than that… sheesh.”
So it went on like this for a little while.
And now they’re coming to town and we’re all having dinner.
…
In other words, I’ll be starting to drink again in oh, say, three weeks, for sure. 🙂
I heard! 🙂
Comment by Me — August 22, 2006 @ 8:58 pm
wow.
that’s all i can say. wow.
Comment by wendykat — August 23, 2006 @ 5:44 am
Sis… did you now? Do tell. 😛
Wen.. I know, right? Ugh.
Comment by the insider — August 23, 2006 @ 6:37 am
well, once when i was younger and went to the doctors, i got a phone call from the doc telling me the results for all my tests… my mom came into my room and in full angry asian mommaness she says “so, you’re not pregnant are you?” yea. that was a fun conversation starter.
Comment by wendykat — August 23, 2006 @ 8:47 am
Lol…My boyfriend’s mom still thinks (I’m pretty sure…) that he’s a virgin. Um, we’ve been together for a couple years now…He gave me a diamond necklace for my birthday…
My mom, on the other hand, knows that I’ve been on Depo for two years, and ‘allows’ us to hang out in my bedroom, ‘watching t.v.’ (yes, I still live at home. *hangs head in shame*)
Comment by Jenn — August 23, 2006 @ 9:16 am
Wendy… ohmygod, LOL. That’s awesome. Moms are sooo entertaining.
Jenn—when I go home for the holidays, if he comes with me, my mom’s all “he’s sleeping down in the guest room and you’re upstairs in your sister’s old room.”
In other words… LUCKY GIRL. 😛
Comment by the insider — August 23, 2006 @ 9:26 am
Lol…When I go to his house for anything, there is NO contact whatsoever. We don’t even sit next to each other on the couch.
The funniest part is that his Mom is under the impression that I have never even been upstairs, except for once to use the bathroom…
Comment by Jenn — August 23, 2006 @ 9:45 am
I don’t even know what you guys are talking about. I am probably going to save myself for marriage!
Comment by Andy — August 23, 2006 @ 10:13 am
Drinking is the worst form of birth control.
Comment by Le Will — August 23, 2006 @ 11:07 am
hahahahaha I don’t think drinking is the best way for birth control! lol think that you have to remember where you put your condoms xDDDDDDDDD
BTW, my gossip-side dies for more details about your man 😉 details, details, detaaaaails :P:P
Comment by Me, Myself and I — August 23, 2006 @ 4:22 pm
Jenn… rotfl lmao. That’s awesome.
Andrew… oh please. Not a ONE of us believes you. 😛
Le Will… oof. Yeah, excellent point, lol.
Me… details hmm? I’m thinking about a post about him.. it’s coming. 😉
Comment by the insider — August 23, 2006 @ 9:10 pm
oh man, my mom said that kind of thing to me once. it’s like, wow, let me just put on my awkward hat here…
Comment by connie — August 23, 2006 @ 9:59 pm
Exactly.
Comment by the insider — August 24, 2006 @ 9:41 am