November 4th, 2005back to dreamland
I had the most fascinating dream last night. Equal parts disturbing and hilarious, I dreamed about these guys who liked me in high school. For some reason, I tend to have this remarkable ability to attract, shall we say, the quirky guys. One wore all black and stared at me from across the room. He left notes in my locker and kinda freaked me out. There was another who was really smart, insanely hyper and seriously annoying. He finally told me (two years after high school) that the reason he constantly argued with me was because he had a crush on me. Lovely.
The third was this sweet, adorable guy who was my friend. Blond and blue-eyed, he loved computers (ooo.. plus!) and always seemed to be in a good mood. I dated a football player at another school, though, and wasn’t interested in my friend in that way at all. But I knew he liked me. Everybody did.
Two years after high school, he’d grown five inches, put on some muscle and become insanely jaded about the world. And he didn’t have a problem making a play for me—the shy, insecurity of high school had flown right out the window. He turned out to be a fantastic kisser, but while both of us wanted something more, I had moved by that time and was only visiting. He’d only taken a few college classes, and wasn’t interested in going back for more… so I suggested he fly out to where I was, just for a little while, and see if he liked it. He liked that plan, but never followed through. You see, I mean seriously jaded, and I’m kinda glad he never came out here. He’s been depressed for awhile, and I can’t help him.
Anyway, so it’s down to the wire for me. I go home in six weeks and I know I’m going to see two of them. I don’t know what will happen exactly, but I’m nervous. The last I heard, he had bought a condo and switched jobs. He wanted me to move back, and in, with him. That’s not going to happen, but when we’re around each other, something inevitably does.
My dream? We were back in high school, but we were the people we are now. And it didn’t work there, either.
Probably a damn sign.
you are so gonna get in trouble for this. you know that right?
Comment by wendykat — November 4, 2005 @ 10:48 am
Who, me? ::innocently shrugs::
It was a dream—it stuck with me. I HAD to blog about it. 😛
Don’t get me in trouble. 😛
And anyway, we more often than not fight. Nothing else.
Comment by the insider — November 4, 2005 @ 10:51 am
Ahhh but, now you’ve told us about it, it def. won’t come true!
Comment by ms. mac — November 4, 2005 @ 12:38 pm
Define seriously jaded.
Comment by Grampa — November 4, 2005 @ 1:34 pm
LOL… Ms. Mac, I want to go home and find him sane. I don’t want anything to come true.
Jaded Grampa. The world is out to get him and he lives in a depressed world.
Comment by the insider — November 4, 2005 @ 1:40 pm
I am familiar with this. It usually comes from an intense self loathing, which, because one cannot admit to one’s self that they hate themselves, they project their hatred onto everyone and everything in the world.
Er, not that I, personally know anything about this, that is.
Comment by Grampa — November 4, 2005 @ 1:47 pm
uh huh…
hippies?
mood rings?
tie dye?
Comment by wendykat — November 4, 2005 @ 1:58 pm
Ah yes. That’s about right. It’s really a shame, too. He’s a sweetheart.
I always was able to get him out of his funk for a little while, but then… right back down. Very sad.
And yeah… takes one to know one, eh? 😛
Comment by the insider — November 4, 2005 @ 2:00 pm
I am going to have to plead the fifth on this one.
But I’m much better now.
Comment by Grampa — November 4, 2005 @ 2:01 pm
Wendy.. lol
Gramp… that’s good. So what did it for you?
Comment by the insider — November 4, 2005 @ 2:03 pm
It’s a long story. Suffice it to say that I stopped making self destructive decisions.
Comment by Grampa — November 4, 2005 @ 2:10 pm
Right.
But he’s not really self-destructive.
Well, I guess he could be.
Hmmm…
Comment by the insider — November 4, 2005 @ 2:13 pm
Yeah, some people, or some types of people, are really good at creating illusions (and delusions). Only right before they begin to fall apart does anyone know what the fuck is really going on. This may or may not be the case for your friend, but it is a possibility.
And, Wendy, no trouble here. It is what it is, that’s all.
Comment by Grampa — November 4, 2005 @ 2:25 pm
You never know what tomorrow will bring. 🙂
Comment by the guest — November 4, 2005 @ 2:25 pm
Yes, I do like my dream better. 😉
Comment by anne — November 4, 2005 @ 2:52 pm
Grampa… no, you’re right. It just sucks.
Guest… when it comes to this job, a giant load of crap.
Anne… yeah, me too. 😛
Comment by the insider — November 4, 2005 @ 5:29 pm