October 4th, 2005IKEA kicked my ass
I bought a very nice new bedframe the other day at IKEA. It’s nice, yes?
After trucking it home and hauling all three boxes, a giant silver bar and a stack of slats up my stairs, I decided I was done for Sunday. No big deal, the new mattress doesn’t arrive until Wednesday.
Last night I started putting together the monstrosity—using 15 pages of instructions.
On step two, I encountered a wee problem. A screw was supposed to be screwed into the wooden baseboard using a washer and some other twisty device that they provided. It worked fabulously on one side, but not-so-much on the other side. The washer refused to come off of the screw. (A double screw, with different thread widths on each side.)
After begging for help and instructions via email and phone, attempting to ice the screw and heat the washer at the same time and a jigger of vodka, I gave up.
I was beaten by step two. Oh the overwhelming shame.
Now I must go to Home Depot today and convince a nice man in an orange apron to unscrew the washer from the screw. Or just to buy a new screw.
I got my damn ass kicked by IKEA. Not cool.
it’s those swedes. they’ll do it to you every time.
Comment by grimace — October 4, 2005 @ 12:42 pm
Stick to what you know best.
Get back in the kitchen and make me some breakfast…..And bring me a beer.
Comment by Augustus — October 4, 2005 @ 12:48 pm
Grimace.. Bastards. Them and their 99 cent meatballs. 😛
Augie, I’m going to kick your teeth so far back… Hmm.. I’ll be nice. You’re too little to beat up. 😛
And if this isn’t my job, then get your ass up here and put this bitch together. OK? OK. 😉
Comment by the insider — October 4, 2005 @ 12:49 pm
*shakes fist* damn swedes. i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again, i hate ikea. don’t care that it’s cheap… it’s cheap for a reason. it sucks.
Comment by wendykat — October 4, 2005 @ 2:04 pm
You’ve been raped and pillaged by furniture-selling Swedes.
You suck.
Comment by Grampa — October 4, 2005 @ 2:33 pm
Wendy.. lol, but it’s so nice and pretty. Everything I’ve ever gotten from them has been perfectly fine.
Grampa: I suck? Excuse moi? Jackass. 😛
Comment by the insider — October 4, 2005 @ 2:46 pm
Yes, it’s lovely. And you’ll manage. And prove all the nay-sayers wrong.
Comment by Anne — October 4, 2005 @ 3:02 pm
Aww.. see, Anne is my favorite.
Comment by the insider — October 4, 2005 @ 3:12 pm
Hahaha that’s how IKEA cons the begginers lol
Very nice bed, btw.
Comment by me, myself and I — October 4, 2005 @ 3:30 pm
But I’m not a beginner! Sigh. I put this shit together all the damn time. Grrr.
Thanks. Isn’t it pretty? 🙂
Comment by the insider — October 4, 2005 @ 3:34 pm
I know exactly how you feel, i have many many many MANY Ikea products in my home and I typically pride myself on getting them all put together… until I met the Ikea ironing board. I’ll just say this, I still have the scars. TOTALLY kicked my ass.
Comment by Kerry — October 4, 2005 @ 4:33 pm
An ironing board? Now I’m concerned, lol.
Comment by the insider — October 4, 2005 @ 4:45 pm
I stopped buying IKEA after I saw the “IKEA Nesting Instinct” scene in Fight Club… It was very sobering.
Comment by HarleyWriter — October 4, 2005 @ 4:58 pm
And I mean it all.
Fight Club is on right now. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
Comment by Anne — October 4, 2005 @ 5:34 pm
Harley I don’t remember that… hmm.
🙂 Anne 🙂 Are you watching it?
Comment by the insider — October 4, 2005 @ 5:43 pm
Yup. In French, and it’s not even too bad. I might have to rethink a few things. 😉
Comment by Anne — October 4, 2005 @ 6:09 pm
The movie started off with all of that Ikea stuff… and as much as I agree its all true, I still can’t help but love their stuff – its cheap and it looks good, kinda like me. 😉 KIDDING!!! kidding. 🙂
…the ironing board had this spring on it (the part that allows you to open and close the legs of the thing) and it took me forever to manouvre it into space w/o breaking it… scars on my hands and fingers. My hand modelling career is over. 😉
Comment by Kerry — October 5, 2005 @ 9:40 am