September 3rd, 2005

why I have a category called crapola

Have you ever had a day that starts out wonderful, and then, in a sudden, sharp twist, drops into the gutter? That’s how I feel about today. I slept solid for 12 hours, then I went and got a pedicure with a good friend of mine. (My toes are red and very cute.) Now I’m at home, doing some laundry and finishing up some powerpoints for work. It’s gorgeous outside. The sun is shining and both of my cats are stretched out in patches of sunlight on the floor.

My mom just called.

She’s had optic nerve drusen for years. It’s a condition where the byproducts of the metabolism, like protein and salt deposits, of the optic nerve (in her eyes) builds up on the surface of the optic nerve. When she gave birth to my sister and I, the pressure exerted caused her to lose some of her peripheral vision in both eyes. It’s been worst in her left eye, however. Over the past several years, her left peripheral vision has deteriorated a smidge every year, but not enough to be a real problem. (You can’t sneak up on her left side, or she’ll deck you.)

Apparently she has been realizing this year that her vision is getting worse, so she went and got it checked yesterday—and she was right. Her vision has deteriorated significantly and she has to go see another specialist. At this point they are talking surgery, to stem the liquid that is seeping from her optic nerve which could potentially blind her—something that we hadn’t even expected.

Last summer my dad was diagnosed with anterior ischemic optic neuropathy. He woke up one morning and suddenly he had a small black spot on his vision. He went in immediately, because he thought he had a detached retina (also very bad). They ran several tests and then he went home. The next morning, the spot was bigger. After several MRIs and a battery of tests, they realized it was AION, a condition that cannot be reversed.

It was initially devastating to my dad. You see, he’s a surgeon, and the ability to see is imperative—being a doctor is one of his greatest loves.

It’s been a year and he has about a 20% vision loss in one eye. He can still operate, however, and has compensated remarkably well.

I guess I’m just stressed because my parents are young and healthy and this is just.. hard. I wasn’t there last year when all this happened to my dad, and I’m not there now. I hate being this far away from my family when this kind of shit happens.