August 17th, 2005feeling restless
I’ve been feeling out of sorts for awhile. I hadn’t been able to place it, but tonight I think I did. I’m restless and honestly, bored. I am bored to tears.
I always get this way toward the end of summer, but I would always look forward to school starting again. It’s not that I’m that much of a nerd (although, yes, I kinda am), it’s just that it meant a change. New people, new classes, new teachers, new everything. In retrospect, I always get this way toward the end of May as well—anxious for school to be done, anxious to move to something different.
I think this might be why I loved being an Army brat—the moving, the on-the-go.
Exactly three years ago I took a little trip, to shake the boredom. You see, I had taken college classes while in high school, so I had a year of college under my belt at the time of graduation. I had then gone, and come back, from college in California, and I wasn’t prepared to finish my last two years. So on August 5, I packed my car and took off. I didn’t return home until Thanksgiving. I covered 30,000 miles and 48 states, and, for a time, calmed my wanderlust.
Every year about this time I long to be somewhere else. I can remember vividly whole days and weeks spent on the road. In my mind’s eye, I see the dusty plains of Nebraska and the sun drenched fields of sunflowers in Wyoming. I remember my mom calling me almost every day, checking to see where I was and when I would come home. I reveled in making it to the easternmost point of the US (Eastport, ME) and the southermost (Key West, FL), but I began to ache for family and friends. So I cut my trip short by a couple of weeks and surprised my mom on Thanksgiving.
I think I could live anywhere. I don’t feel bound by country or language, and I’m itching to see more of the world, but… It’s hard to leave family. My cousins are growing fast and my parents are getting older, and I miss seeing them. I’d like to live closer, perhaps a state or two away, but I know I would quickly grow bored and restless. Like now. I moved across the country and that was great for me at the time. I still love it over here, but I’m ready for a major change.
I’ve been thinking perhaps a state move, or a job change would do it. But I’m not sure anymore. I’ve been debating joining the Peace Corps, but for several reasons, I’ve put a hold on my application.
If you’ve made it to the bottom of this winding, train-falling-off-the-tracks, yes-I-need-a-drink post, what are your thoughts? Has any reader ever joined the Corps? Did you enjoy it? What were your reasons for joining?
On that same vein, if you have any suggestions for calming the crazed desire to be constantly on the move, do share. Please.
Ah, the itchy feet syndrome. Marry someone who doesn’t want to leave his hometown? No, eh?
You should go with it, and move wherever the wind takes you. The world is a beautiful place, it deserves to be seen.
Comment by Anne — August 18, 2005 @ 3:53 am
I was a Navy brat so I know the need to keep moving. Someone I met this summer has solved this dilemma by becoming a tour guide in Europe. He works freelance and earns enough to keep traveling in his off months.
Comment by jean — August 18, 2005 @ 9:39 am
Marry someone.. hmmm. Only if he is in the military. Yes, I said that.
Jean—that’s interesting. Does he speak many languages? I’ve actually had someone mention that to me before, as I talk incessantly (yeah, well :P) and I love to travel. Oh, and I like to tell people random things. So, hmmm, that would be a good fit for me. 🙂
Comment by the insider — August 18, 2005 @ 9:48 am
Follow your dreams but my family requires visits 2x a year! 🙂
Comment by AW — August 18, 2005 @ 10:30 am
Hmmm… 2x? Does one of those times mean the rugrats will fly to visit moi for a couple of months at a time? 😉
Comment by the insider — August 18, 2005 @ 10:46 am
I love reading your blog.
Comment by the outsider — August 18, 2005 @ 2:46 pm
I enjoy reading your blog too :). I have to say I profoundly empathise with what you describe. No matter where I am I have sense of other things that I desperately want to experience and try.
At the moment I’m considering either travelling through Europe, which is rather cliche’d, but potentially rewarding while still being familiar… or maybe putting this restlessness to some good use and doing some voluntary work, as I mentioned to you on my own blog.
I think the alternative option is to try and find the type of employment that would involve being in a new environment/culture, or something like that.
I’m not sure at the moment. Just as confused as you :P. But, I’m confident the path ahead will reveal itself soon. And, I’m absolutely positive it will for you, too :).
Comment by Graham — August 18, 2005 @ 11:47 pm
LOL. Thanks you two.
Graham—I have to say that the play really got me thinking. I met a guy almost a year ago who had just returned from Micronesia, where he had served with the Peace Corps. We talked for several hours and I felt such a pull to be doing something like that, but I needed to finish college, etc.
Now, I feel slightly trapped. I have a pretty good job (yes, even though my boss is a jackass), and my life is.. comfortable. Which, now that I write that down, makes me uncomfortable—as it should. Jean’s suggestion is a good one, and honestly, one that has gotten me thinking quite a bit.
I hope you do travel Europe and have a phenomenal time—I’m sure the subsequent tales will be excellent blog fodder. 😉
I hope both our paths reveal themselves soon. (I do prefer, however, the yellow brick road type, as it is so much easier to see.) 😉
Comment by the insider — August 19, 2005 @ 10:04 am