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July 14th, 2005
why i hate july

It’s hot.

It’s the middle of the damn year, which means I’m half a year older and I still have six months until Christmas.

The bugs come out.. nasty little suckers.

It’s muggy.

It’s hot, really, really hot.

The only things on TV are: reruns, weird reality shows and movies that were so bad they never made it to the theatre.

It’s not the fall… I love the fall.

Most book publishers don’t publish until the fall, leaving the summer (particularly July) devoid of any new literature.

The last time I moved it was.. wait for it… JULY. And now I am moving again. So I hate July; I hate July a lot.

Moving just sucks people—ESPECIALLY in July.

Blech.

posted in: crapola — @ 9:50 pm

July 13th, 2005
Weekend Update Part 1

This weekend a friend of mine invited me to his cabin up in Northern Minnesota. I didn’t really know what to expect however the sound of getting away for the weekend was too good to pass up regardless of what was in store.

So last Friday I got home from work a little early, threw a few clothes in a bag and waited for my friend Ken to pick me up. Of course, I had to grab my camera too.

Here’s a recap of the weekend:

Ken pulls up a little late. No worries, we still have plenty of time to make the three and a half hour drive. I put my bags in Ken’s truck and he explains that his air conditioning isn’t working. No problem, I was thinking. Usually I don’t mind the heat. I climb into Ken’s sweltering truck. Wow, it smells kind of funky in here I think to myself.

We drive to Ken’s house to pick up his dog Jasper. Jasper is a very sweet Samoyed who lost one eye due to pressure problems and whose hips are completely degenerative. Ken lifts Jasper into the truck. That explains the smell – it’s the dog. I think Ken sees my nose wrinkle up. My eyes are watering.

Ken explains, “Sorry, my dog has serious problems with his anal glands.”

This is Jasper

Even with both our windows down (recall there’s no air conditioning) Jasper’s ass permeates the truck.

Three and a half hours later we pull up to Ken’s cabin. He’s got a beautiful spot right on the lake. It’s dark out now and we walk up to the front door where there’s a cloud of mosquitoes and other bugs waiting to carry us away.

We walk in and Ken introduces me to his brother-in-law, Mike and his nephew, Shane. I should probably mention that the only air conditioning Ken’s cabin has is an in-window unit in his bedroom. It’s probably about 90 degrees out still even though the sun has gone down.

I head off to bed and try to get settled in. It’s way too hot for any sheets so I lay awake on my bed trying to get comfortable. I figure if I lay still enough I can cool down.

I can hear the whine of the mosquitoes. I feel a bite on my leg and a split second later I smack it. OK maybe the sheets aren’t such a bad idea.

I pull the sheet up over my body and start to dose off. I wake up to the sound of a mosquito in my ear. It wakes me up halfway and I smack myself hard in the head. OW!

I’m awake now. I turn the light on and grab a shirt. I turn the shirt into a mosquito-killing weapon and go on a rampage.

After I cleared out all the mosquitoes I go back to bed and drift off to sleep.
Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz – thwap! I smack my head again.

OK. Now I’m hot and sweaty, covered in mosquito bites and I’ve been hitting my head and despite my best efforts to kill all the mosquitoes in the room I’m SOL. Finally I’m so tired that I fall asleep and wake up eight hours later covered in red dots.

The next morning after a nutritious breakfast of cinnamon rolls, we head out fishing. Mike tells me that they’re biting and that he’s already caught five. Ken, Shane and I go out on the lake to check things out.

None of us catch any fish – just lots of seaweed. But no worries, it’s not always about catching fish. And besides, the mosquitoes don’t come out on the lake.

After a great morning out on the lake we grill up some burgers and relax. I love food. Shane and I finish off the last of the burgers and decide that tubing would be an appropriate after-lunch activity. I also love swimming after I eat… just because you’re not supposed to.

This is Shane tubing.

Ken decides that we’ll catch more fish if Shane and I snorkel to find them. Shane and I quickly discovered that the reason we weren’t catching fish is because there weren’t any—however the visibility in the lake was decent for freshwater. About 20 feet down there is a thermocline, which is a sudden change in water temperature. The temperature will change from about 75 or so down to about 50. The warm water sits on the cold water like a layer.

Having a wetsuit on, I decided to see how far down I could actually get. The deepest part of this lake was just over 41 feet. Armed with my wetsuit, mask and flippers I jump in and start breathing to prepare for my dive.

I take in a deep breath several times. One last breath and I start diving down. Kicking hard I push deeper and deeper until I hit the thermocline and I can feel the freezing water around me. Diving without weights in a wetsuit is hard because (unlike me) wetsuits are buoyant. About 10 feet after the thermocline the urge to breath is unbearable from kicking so hard.

I start to ascend and the warm water above felt like a hot bath. I start to see stars. I picked a good time to resurface. I was thinking about making another attempt without the wetsuit, but 50-degree water without a wetsuit? Maybe next time.

Later that afternoon, Ken introduces me to his brother Robert and Robert’s wife Anne.

Robert and Anne live across the cul-de-sac from Ken. We walk over to their home and it is beautiful. Robert and Anne bought this cabin a few years ago in really rough shape. It only had a couple of windows, no flooring and no ceiling—in other words, pretty much just logs with a roof.

Now their cabin is fully finished with a beautiful open floor plan, tile flooring, tongue-in -groove woodwork, marble bathrooms, granite counter-tops and beautiful huge windows to show the amazing lake view.

The incredible thing is that Robert and Anne have done all this work themselves. They haven’t hired a single contractor or company to do any work on their house. Robert and Anne have done it all, from sawing holes in the logs (to make room for the new windows) to hand-finishing every board of woodwork in their home. Anne even purchased custom glass bowls and with Robert’s help, made their own custom pedestal sinks.

This is Robert and Anne’s cabin.

My favorite feature was the kitchen. Did I mention I love food? Really love food.

Now Ken brought 4 lobsters with him, one of which was 4 ½ pounds. And Shane explains that he doesn’t like lobster and that he’d rather eat hotdogs. It’s really amazing to me that anyone can eat a hotdog. It’s even more amazing when you get to eat more lobster because a 14-year-old kid opts to eat hotdogs instead. I’m not complaining.

This is Robert holding dinner.

Robert also grilled shrimp with some special blend of spices and they were phenomenal. Can you tell I was in heaven?

Our evening ended with an attempt at a bonfire. The reason I say attempt is because the mosquitoes came out. Numerous bites later we decided that the searing heat from the fire combined with the smoke wasn’t enough to keep the mosquitoes away.

posted in: guest musings,hilarity — @ 1:48 am

July 12th, 2005
update on the apartment….

The problem with the perfect dream house? It’s perfect for more than one person. 🙁

I just called to see about it, and it was rented to another woman—one with cancer, the lady made sure to note. Which, of course, I understand.

What I wanted to say was.. considering my genetic history, I’ll probably get cancer too! (How sick is that?)

So sad…

Update @ 4 PM: Fortunately, Dooce just published (and I’ve managed to drink half a bottle of wine at work….)

posted in: crapola — @ 2:31 pm

July 11th, 2005
it’s so hot the outsider is napping on the floor

Actually, it’s a combination of heat and the fact that we had a really late lunch… out on the deck of our favorite restaurant. But in all honesty, it’s unbelievably hot and muggy here today and that makes us very grumpy.

In other news, the guest is driving back from the lake and decided to try and text my email from his phone, which worked wonderfully… 20 times (so far). Apparently he’s roaming and his provider just won’t stop the texting. Here’s the question I have… does this mean he’s going to get charged for every single one of those? If so, we’re going to have to start a collection or something…

Update… 41 to the outsider and 23 to me… yikes!

Update… 10 PM: Just so everyone knows I’m not kidding about the damn heat.. it’s 83 damn degrees outside! At 10 PM! I am in hell.

posted in: hilarity — @ 4:29 pm

July 10th, 2005
so this coffee quiz thing is floating around..

And I thought, “Hey, I love coffee, let’s see what I am.” However, being as pedantic as I am, I had to see how many coffee quizzes were available (stop laughing, and yes, I really am this weird). So anyway, I Googled and took three different “What kind of coffee are you?” quizzes and guess what.. I’m three different kinds of coffee. lol

On this site, I’m an Irish Coffee.

At your best, you are: wild, spontaneous, and outgoing. (OK, very true.) At your worst, you are: too extreme and reckless. (Um, not sure about that, but OK.) You drink coffee when: you want to keep drinking booze. (Actually, I drink coffee all the time, but I love it with liquor.) Your caffeine addiction level: low (What, are you kidding me? Coffee runs in my veins.. I bleed caffeine people.)

On this site, I’m a cappuccino (which, btw, they can’t spell… sigh).

You’re in perfect balance. Not too bitter and not too sweet… you’re delicious and a treat for all. (I know many who would disagree, but lol). Floating like the foam on top, you rock with good vibrations all over. (So, yeah, this test was created by a juvenile male… lol.)

On this site, I’m a double espresso.

Hey Energizer Bunny Girl! Do you ever slow down? (Nope!) You’re a mix of high energy and ambition, perfectly matched with strong espresso. (So very, very true.) When you want something you get it – by any means possible. (Well, not entirely.) You’re driven, determined, and no nonsense. Which is just how you like your java. (Exactly… now that’s what I’m talking about.)

Result? Well, I drink iced doppios, extra ice with a tiny splash of soy—when I’m having a bad day, I get a quad. Liquor? I drink vodka on the rocks, twist of lime. However, when it’s cold (or when I’m in Ireland), I will drink an Irish Coffee… every. single. day.

Conclusion? Taking weird online quizzes at two in the morning provides nothing but a less-than-entertaining post on your blog. So sorry people… 🙂

posted in: hilarity — @ 2:18 am

July 9th, 2005
espresso martinis and sailors… sigh

I love the weekend.. truly, I do. You can sleep in and stay out.. as late as you want.

After sleeping in, I started packing—and stressing about the apartment v. the cottage. *sigh* I’m definitely going with the cottage—and to all of you who commented, I appreciate it. And you’re right—you can’t say no to a dream house.

However, now I’m stressing because I won’t hear from the owner until Monday or Tuesday… AHHHHH!

But back to why I love the weekend.. Jen (owner of Papi the chihuahua) and I went down to our favorite restaurant and had a wonderful dinner and several martinis (and an Irish coffee)…

And I’ve just heard from J the guest, who is having a great time fishing, snorkeling and scuba diving—and eating lobster. Lobster, I said? You caught lobster…? Obviously, the answer to that is no; it’s a freshwater lake. But whatever. He took pictures and is itching to get to an Internet connection…

Weekends are good times people, good times.

posted in: joy in the little things — @ 11:55 pm

July 8th, 2005
how sweet is the guest…

He just called to say “Let me call this guy who owns the ‘dream house.’ I can talk to him.” What a doll!

Even though I turned that down, I truly appreciate the gesture. Have a good time fishing this weekend J.. don’t drown. 🙂

Hopefully he will have some good pics and stories to share when he gets back!

posted in: joy in the little things — @ 7:34 pm

July 8th, 2005
the worst part about being a grownup..

…Is having to make the big decisions.

I just heard from the smaller, less expensive place and they are OK with the washer and dryer now. This is also the place that I can move into now. ARGH.

I won’t hear from the more expensive dream place until Monday or Tuesday… and I won’t be able to move in until August.

This is seriously annoying.

Just wanted to share.. 😉

posted in: crapola — @ 4:46 pm

July 7th, 2005
update on the apartment hunting..

Alright, so I am now going to pose a question to everyone. I have looked at many places, most scary and expensive. I have talked with realtors, I have looked far outside of where I want to be, I have done it all. I am waiting to see about one place that doesn’t want me to keep my washer and dryer (portable), and that is on the second floor of a three story, owner-occupied.

BUT, today I found my dream place. It’s a cottage in the woods (seriously, not kidding), very near the water. The woods—like back home in Washington. It’s pretty big—1 bedroom, a huge living room that goes into a kitchen, big bathroom, clawfoot tub… and a big deck with an outdoor fire pit. Off-street parking and a yard here, people. So I love this place. A lot. The porch also has two sliding glass doors, one into the bedroom and one into the living room, so security might be an issue. But then again, we live in a really small town with very few problems.

But it’s $150 more than the other (which I haven’t heard back from re: the washer and dryer), and it won’t be ready (new carpets, etc…. so nice) until August 1st. In addition, they are waiting to see about a couple that wants to come see it (on Saturday) and then they (the owners) will make their decision. They said I’m on the top of the list (being single and with a good, stable job), and I will find out by Monday or Tuesday of next week.

What would you do? Seriously.

posted in: crapola — @ 5:51 pm

July 7th, 2005
so I thought I wasn’t having the best of days…

Then I read what was going on in London in the first RSS feed I read this morning… plasticbag.org.

A Flickr pool has been set up here.

And the Londonist blog has good coverage, as does the Guardian’s blog, although both are experiencing heavy traffic and might be slow.

Our thoughts and prayers to everyone in England.

posted in: crapola — @ 9:59 am
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