To the Queen of the Badass Posse, and my star sibling… have a very happy birthday.

May you have a year filled with English delights and lots of good liquor.

;P

OK, so I’m basically still alive because I’m heavily medicated. I have three bottles of pills next to my bed and I take ’em all.. and I’m still, as the coworker put it, miserable.

But I’m having incredibly hysterical dreams—we’re talking doozies here people.

The best one was earlier today. I had a dream about some sort of political dinner that the president was at. His wife was speaking and at the end she said something about this being a lame duck year for the president… or will it be? “C’mon y’all,” she said, “Never say never or give up?”

Bill Clinton was on the one dais (there were two) where she was speaking and before anyone could say anything he said, “Well never say never but…” and then a bunch of gobbledy-gook about healthcare and education (i.e., I don’t remember, but it was profound).

Across the table from him Owen Wilson (no idea where he figures in) interjected to explain what Clinton was saying. Most of the audience then started nodding, but on the other dais, which was across the room, the president had a confused smile on his face.

Luke Wilson nudged Owen and said, “Now you need to explain it to their leader.” It was silent, but you could see people wanted to laugh.

Then I woke up laughing my ass off.

I also had a dream where I challenged Winston Churchill to a drinking competition (I appear to be stupid in my dreams…) and one where my sister and I were acrobats on a ferris wheel.

Ahhh the drugs.

She is about fifteen minutes away!

YAY!

My mommy is coming and she will heal me.

(By god she’d better… no one else has. 🙁 )

I passed 10,000 visitors sometime between Tuesday and today!

I feel so loved by you people. 😉

Going back to work after the holidays sucks. Especially when you spent most of said holiday ill.

Granted, I’m still at my parent’s home in Seattle, but I am working darn you! Not all that well though. I have to keep pausing to cough for several seconds at a time, the evil book of hell keeps freezing up my screen and my mom’s cat is now sitting on my shoulders, trying to get my attention. (I think she wants some love.)

And now the real reason I am blogging… an argument with my dad over how long cookies should be baked—I want to note here that he killed some oatmeal cookies. They are hard and ridiculously crunchy… seriously, you can crumble them up and use them as granola. He thinks they are the greatest cookies ever—”the crunchier, the better.”

I ask you my people, soft or crunchy? Don’t you love that gooey center?

All y’all are fabulous for sending me well wishes and such… that’s so kind. 🙂 🙂

I hope all of you had a lovely New Year’s Eve, and I wish you all the best in the year to come.

I’m looking forward to an illness-free year of lots of fun and even more travel, but for now, I’m all curled on the couch watching The Last Samurai, drinking tea and waiting for my senses to come back.

Here is some funny stuff.

A Very Merry Christmas.

🙂

So far today: Dad has attempted to attack the cats with his new RoboRaptor, my sister’s boyfriend’s son had a bout of runny.. um.. and it got on the floor and there was a whole washing experience, to include pinning a pair of my dad’s old boxers onto the little midget, and teaching my sister how to use her computer is making me crazy.

That is all.

Santa breakfast = adults in costume performing plays (Frosty, Rudolph, Santa, cowgirls and a cowboy) and little children going apeshit over all of the above. I can’t wait to get the pictures from my cousin, lol.

After that we had lunch with a very old friend—mmm, sushi—shopped and came home, where we proceeded to make cornbread stuffing, pecan pie and cranberry salad. (Presents were wrapped, too.)

I was going to sleep in, but the Man woke me at 10:30… to tell me that it’ll be less than a week. 🙂 🙂 So now I’m up, drinking coffee, and trying to figure out how to handle an impossible (because it’s Christmas Eve, shit) task.

For several years (at least 10), my dad has made ornaments for my sister, mom and I. He always waits until Christmas Eve (no other time), and they’re always imaginative and silly and they landmark a specific thing that happened to us that year. For instance, when I was 12 I got my braces off and he went to the doctor (his buddy), got my old braces and made an ornament. (Yes, they were clean. Shut it.)

There are also many, many Jeeps on the tree… for the years my sister hit a schoolbus, a guardrail, another car.. and the time I hit my mom’s car. Anyway… for the past three or so years, my mom and I have been trying to make my dad one as well.

This year I was going to get a diecast model of his Jeep, attach the year, bill of sale (miniaturized—love computers!), etc., and hang that on the tree. (Christmas morning we all have to hunt amongst the branches to find what we believe is our particular ornament.)

But then I remembered that his mom passed away earlier this year (a year is a long time, give me a break), so now I’m flummoxed. I can’t get anything engraved (we did that the year my Nana died), and I don’t know what I would get to symbolize her anyway.

I’m heading to the hobby shop, hoping something will jump at me.

Have a lovely Christmas Eve everyone. 🙂

I arrived. I am not dead, nor did I succeed in killing people… although I came awfully damn close.

Then my dad had picked up my favorite Thai food and had it in the car, just waiting for when we got home. 🙂 🙂 So all was not lost.

Must sleep now.