Driving all the way up to work (60 miles), where it’s 5 degrees colder than at home (17), and finding out that the heat upstairs in your office area is broken is not a good way for my day to start.

That is a bad, bad thing.

Also that no one actually told the bosses. Wtf?

Fortunately the CEO had some space heaters she brought me, so I’m slowly defrosting.

However, I slipped coming down the steps outside this morning when Regina decided to bolt for a bird. I managed to stay upright, but twisted and one leg went off the porch whilst the other stayed inside, effectively doing the splits.

After much cursing, we were in the car and heading to work.

All was well until I released there seemed to be an odd draft on my thigh.

Yes. I ripped a hole in my pants.

Fuck it, I thought, I’m not turning around.

So now I am at work, in a room where it is hovering around 55 degrees, with a hole in my pants.

What a morning.

I love my parents. I love them deeply and I am SO glad they were here to help us move and clean and put up curtains and fix broken things.

But I am also SO glad they have gone to NYC for a conference and won’t be coming back here for awhile.

The house is awesome, so much has gotten done and we couldn’t have accomplished half as much as we did without them, but my dear god, I haven’t gotten laid in over a week and there is only so many times my mom can “suggest” a maid come twice a month before I begin to get a complex.

The Chop has now taken to saying “we are SO filthy” and the poor dog is afraid to drink water.. I swear to you, my mom was trying to wipe her muzzle every time to prevent drips on the new, perfectly refinished hardwood floors.

And if you have a dog, you know that ain’t gonna happen.

There’s a show on the Food Network called Two Dudes Catering. It’s not a highbrow cooking show, but they do interesting food preparations and so I am entertained by it.

The Porkchop, on the other hand, can’t stand it. And it’s not because of the food they make or that they’re weird (although that bugs him a little), it’s because of their hair.

And the fact that they don’t wear hairnets when they cook.

And I get that, because when you look like this:

You should pin that mane back under a net when you’re cooking.

Otherwise, it’s just not right.

I love the Morning News… How to Say I Love You in 100 Ways.

I particularly like:
(4) with wee spaniels
(21) You purchased matching fursuits so that you could renew your vows as foxes.
(43) With a heart filled with lies
(48) Directed toward the heavy, sealed barrel in the basement where you’ve hidden the secrets.

So there is a new building being built in NYC.

Residential units, with an en-suite car garage. In other words, you live on the 10th floor, no problem for parking, your car lives there too.

Just drive into the elevator and up you go, depositing you and your car to your very own garage.

Go here, then click on En-Suite Sky Garage in the navigation.

I can tell I’ve been watching too many cop shows, because the first thing I thought of? Wow, it’ll be so much more convenient when you kill your spouse/gay lover/son at home. Simply open the door to your garage (like the suburban killers do), deposit the body in the trunk, take the elevator down (no suspicious activity here!) and drive away.

No doormen to see you lugging that giant suitcase out the door, no nosy neighbor wondering about the stain in the building’s elevator.. the perfect solution!

I’m deranged, I know. Also, I want to live there. 😀

My sister decided to join the ranks of dog owners and purchased herself a chihuahua.

I’m a little concerned that her giant cat will eat her.

Nya and Cocoa the giant cat

But she is kinda cute, so I guess she’s a good addition. 😉

Nya

So let’s see, what’s happened…

I botched the Porkchop’s haircut. I clipped too high over his ear (I dunno, I think I was tired or something, lol) and then thought it would make sense to use the neck clipper bit to clip down the hair that was left. Um. So now one side is just too high, but still has some hair above his ear and the other side has essentially a bald patch above his ear.

He’s thrilled. And using it to get out of ever leaving the house, lol. With encouragement I’m sure he’ll send me a picture to post here… 😀 😀

We watched Chuck (season premieres all week, whee!) last night and I love it. It’s smart and funny and oddly endearing. It’s also right before Heroes, so those are two great hours on a Monday night. 🙂 Journeyman wasn’t bad, it reminds me alot of The Time Traveler’s Wife, but I’m not sure it’ll keep an audience.

I found the perfect house, of course, and it’s cheaper, bigger, has a huge fence yard and oh, did I mention, on Cape Cod? Unfortunately, our landlord (whom I now despise) won’t let us out of our lease. No discussion, just “no.” Although if it sells, we can “talk about it.”

We haven’t seen a realtor yet, no sign has gone up, etc., so perhaps she’s realizing now is a bad time to sell? I don’t know, but at least now she realizes she burned this bridge and we won’t be staying come May, even if she does still own the place.

So now I’m a little sad that my perfect Cape house isn’t going to work out. It was yellow. Had a huge, fenced yard, an upstairs loft with great skylights, six rooms, a fireplace… OK, I’m stopping now.

I’m still a bit itchy, so that’s fun as well, and it was getting colder, but today is supposed to be high 80s and tomorrow 90s, so WTF is with this weather?

I need a vacation.

My parents are in San Francisco for a conference.

My mom went shopping today.

I was at Macy’s, but I had to leave. I just couldn’t stand it anymore.

Why’s that Mom?

Paris Hilton was there.

At Macy’s?

Yeah.

Why’d you leave? Couldn’t take the shopping or Paris Hilton?

Ugh. Paris Hilton.

To be honest, what I’m most impressed with is that my mom knew who PH was. I feel like my sister and I have done well with her pop culture education. 😀

Sunday morning we woke to find Regina had an open sore on the top of one of her back paws. Upon closer inspection, it appeared to be a cyst that she had licked raw. Lovely, all around.

We had a fun trip to the emergency vet, where we learned that sometimes young dogs get these sort of cysts and that if it doesn’t go away on it’s own, she’d get to have surgery. But for now, ointment, antibiotics and.. drumroll please.. an Elizabethan collar. And yes, that is what they called it on the receipt.

She calls it hell.

It’s kinda cute though.. she reminds me of Laura Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie, lol.