My parents got smart phones. They did not, unfortunately, get how-to-use-a-smart-phone lessons. So far today we’ve Skyped five times to help them figure out: how to answer the phone, how to send a text, how to find the photo gallery and how to open a picture message.

Oh boy.

The terrible twos are soon to be upon us, but the Peanut has decided to just go ahead and start being crazy now. His favorite tantrum position is to sit down, and then bend his entire upper body forward until his face is touching the ground. It’d be cute if it wasn’t accompanied by wailing, lol.

He likes to line up his toys on the edge of the tub during bath time, and when one fell (out of order, he prefers to dunk them one at a time), he promptly proceeded to assume his tantrum position. Except he was in a tub full of water. So down he goes, dunking his face and a couple inches of hair, and up he pops, shocked and dripping. I, of course, am laughing hysterically… THISCLOSE to peeing on the bathroom floor. He then starts sobbing and wants out of the tub (because now his favorite place has hurt his feelings), so I soap and rinse him and pull him out. But now he’s mad at me because I laughed at him, so he marches/baby runs out of the bathroom naked, loudly vocalizing how much the world hates him.

This was after a day where he threw roughly 20 tantrums, took a 30 minute nap (as opposed to his normal two hours) and generally railed against the entire house.

Fun. Times.

Since my parents are renovating the home they’re buying, I’ve been spending some time looking at “house porn” with my Mom. I came across these amazing light fixtures in a house (which I love, of course) and decided to try and track them down. One or two on our porch would look amazing.

Until I tracked them down and found out that each one is almost two thousand dollars. My taste is disturbingly (and outrageously) expensive, sigh. But they do look amazing.

We were supposed to be spending the weekend up north with my parents, but the Peanut got incredibly ill last night. High fever, vomiting and lots of crying meant I stayed up all night with him, and then took a nap when the Porkchop took over at 530. It’s been a very long day of him not eating much, being sad, taking lots of Tylenol, occasionally drinking some water and watching nonstop Yo Gabba Gabba.

As it turns out, our son is just like us. When he doesn’t feel well, he just wants to lie on the couch and be catered too. Poor bambino.

Don’t Be A Dumbass. It works in almost any situation – work, driving, grocery shopping, etc. Just don’t be a dumbass and you’re good to go.

I seem to have picked up a penchant for insomnia from my mom. I’m not quite sure how or why, but I lay in bed, tossing and turning, my brain fully wired, trying desperately to pass out. I was so exhausted yesterday that I went to bed at 8.. but was up less than two hours later. I had some dinner, watched Justified (such a good show) with the Porkchop and back to bed we went at midnight. Except that I couldn’t fall asleep, so I read until 2, and then tossed in bed until 3. What. the. hell.

I did a rush job today, a full site in 10 hours. The client is famous, which is odd because he seems like a regular guy. He wants to keep his identity a secret because the site isn’t what you’d call “highbrow,” lol. It’s hilarious and entertaining though, so we’ll see how long he keeps it quiet.

He called me out of the blue yesterday, referred by another client who told him I was a wizard (I love her. Also, I need a wizard hat.). By the end of the day, he was calling me a wizard as well. It’s nice to be appreciated. 😀

The Peanut had his 18 month appointment today. All is well, he’s in the 93% for length, yada, yada. We’re going to schedule a meeting with a feeding specialist to see if we can’t get him to eat more (sigh), as his weight hasn’t gone up much since his 15 month.

But, apparently our pediatrician can count on one hand how many patients she’s seen who ONLY visit her for well visits… and we are one of those. Healthy baby skills y’all!

I try really hard not to pick sides. I think it comes from being the youngest and from growing up in a very one-sided (when it comes to most things) family. There is right and wrong – this is right, that is wrong. What we believe is right, what they believe is wrong. What we teach is right, what they teach is wrong. When you leave that environment and you begin to realize that with all the options, choosing a side doesn’t make that much sense.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m all for not breaking the law. I’m against drugs (this is a weird conversation the Porkchop and I have regularly – my upbringing makes it really hard for me to have any stance on pot other than “bad gateway drug to heroin and meth and DEATH”), murder, hurting other people for sport, cheating, stealing, lying and generally anything amoral. I’m an exceedingly moral person, to the extent that it never actually occurs to me to steal – once I left with a mascara under a bag of cat litter that I didn’t want to lift out of the cart and I walked back in to pay for it – not paying for it wasn’t an option I even considered.

But when it comes to other things, I’m hesitant to come down on either side of the issue. Politics, abortion, religion, child rearing, etc. I do what I think is best for myself and my family, but I try not to actively assert a position that’s against someone else’s – after all, they are probably doing what they think is best for their family, who am I to say what that is?

Except when it comes to personal freedoms (everyone should be allowed to have and voice their opinion and make the decision themselves) and matters of equality. I feel that everyone should be treated equally regardless of race, sexual identity, religion, etc., and if you are a bigot (asshole) or think that you can cure or change any of the above, I will absolutely take you to task. And probably say rude things about your lack of intelligence and/or assholery.

My Dad finds this highly objectionable. There is right and wrong and they are wrong and he is right. (Frankly I think that’s what’s wrong with most political battles – no one is willing to see the other side’s point of view.) A couple of days ago on PTI (sports talk show that is watched every day in my house, feel bad for me) they discussed Charles Barkley’s new ad where he wears a dress (hand to god, that man looks good in a dress). My Dad looked up from the couch and hrumphed and did his whole deep sigh that means “this is what’s wrong with our country. men dressing like women. that is so wrong. homosexuality is curable, etc., ad nauseam.” The man can communicate a lot with a sigh.

I just stared at him, rather surprised actually, because it’s not like we were watching To Wong Foo (great movie) and then went back to working. I didn’t have the time nor the inclination to explain that is was a joke for the diet Barkley’s on and even if it wasn’t, why are you such an asshole?

But now I’m annoyed with myself. I know that fighting with my Dad makes no sense. I know I will get nowhere and that in the end we’ll both be pissed off. I know that his opinion will never change – we’ve fought about this very thing many times. But now I have a child. One that I don’t want formed by wrong and stupidity-based opinions. And now they live closer (four hours via car vs. six via plane).

Now I have to pick sides.