I know, I know, I haven’t written in ages.. I do apologize.

See, that place with the Scrabble? Has Monopoly too. And Sorry. And Battleship.

In other words, I’ve been a tad preoccupied… and we’re moving in a week, I’ve gotten quite a bit of contract work lately and I spent most of the weekend drinking with friends, lol.

But, I came across this little gem this morning… and it’s hysterical and so EXACTLY how it is that I had to share.

The Porkchop and I went shopping for packing supplies this weekend (and cat food), and somehow came home with three new games. 🙂

Travel Scrabble (for the train!), Cribbage (his sisters play, we are all going on vacation this summer together, I must learn) and Scene It Squabble (we haven’t even opened this one yet.. waiting for the people to come over, lol).

Sadly for the Chop, I don’t think he realized that the minute I had a Scrabble board in the house, I would want to play it incessantly. And since he is the only other one there, he’d get elected to play, too.

After three straight nights of three-hour games, the Chop needed a break.

I, of course, did not, and after much staring at the board, decided to bite the bullet and play online, something I have been very hesitant to do.

Why, you ask? Well, mainly ’cause I tend to be a bit obsessive when I find something like that… and I work on my computer all day, so knowing that a wonderful game of Scrabble is just one tab window away from me is my version of crack cocaine.

And right now, I really, really need a hit. 😀

Online Scrabble? With other obsessive people who love it and want to play all night?! Sweet lord, where have you BEEN all my life?!

I, apparently, am not the epitome of what a good dog owner should be.

So what if I want to put booties on him when he goes outside? It’s cold… and dirty!

So what if I think he will be BFF with my rascally little only-will-poop-on-linoleum cat?

So what that he isn’t allowed to sleep in my bed with me? I NEED MY SLEEP! The last thing I need is another hot body who kicks in his dreams.. 😛

I will be an awesome dog owner. Like my cats, he will somehow be averse to eating people food, won’t paw through the garbage or chew on my shoes, will follow me around like I’m the Pied Piper and join the cats on my lap when I’m cold.

And not because he’s told too.. simply because I have a weird way with animals.

The Porkchop, of course, will read this and sit there shaking his head violently from side to side. “This,” he shall think, “This is why those people won’t let us adopt that puppy. Somehow they know she is crazy.”

But that is not the case… instead, it’s for reasons truly confusing to us both.

1. We would keep him crated to long while we are at work [Um.. the Chop WORKS FROM HOME.. the dog would so rarely be crated for more than three hours I can’t even fathom it]

2. We aren’t moving for awhile and they want to get him out of the situation he’s in. [OK, seriously? We are moving in 17 days. And if it’s bad, then move him already. What kind of people are you?!]

3. The time just doesn’t seem right. [Yep, word for word, that’s what the person said.]

Also, so many people wanted to adopt this little guy that they are “reviewing all the applications” and “still haven’t decided on the adopters”… but of course, they’ve already decided we are unsuitable dog owners.

I feel very insulted.

For J’s birthday, I got tickets for five of us to go to a Red Sox game.

I am under strict instructions to, a) not bring my laptop, b) not bring a book, c) not bring my iPod and d) wear some sort of Red Sox paraphernalia.

They’re all mean to me.

But anyway, last night I had a dream that the guys couldn’t come, our driver got lost getting us there, I forgot the tickets, Dane Cook was doing street comedy and someone peed near him [actually, that part was hysterical], I tried to sell the extras and got taken to jail and J said it was the worst birthday ever.

I think I also have a hangover this morning.

I hate Mondays.

You know you’ve reached that point in your relationship when discussing bodily functions becomes commonplace.

The Porkchop and I had dinner at a new restaurant on Tuesday. His dish, while quite tasty, had fresh cayenne pepper flakes and roasted whole cloves of garlic.

I just got a detailed description of the burning butt that occurred this morning.

Oddly enough, I actually ate his leftovers and did not have that problem, but the Porkchop has a very sensitive (read: wussy) stomach.

lol

Update: The Porkchop just read this, and aside from being so insulted, lol, he wants to know what “that point is.”

I respond, “you know, that point.”

To which he says, “That point where I’m going to dump you for writing this, is that that point?”

hehe

I have found my calling in life.. I am a SUPREME painter.

And it is fun.

Granted, I am only painting walls in houses, but I am very, very good at it.

Also, we got the house.

😀 😀 😀 😀 😀

Recent Google searches that have recently brought me traffic:

• refrigerate ketchup: this one is very normal for me, apparently there isn’t a lot of information on if you should or shouldn’t refrigerate ketchup.. I strongly stand by the “do not refrigerate” club. It’s not on the bottle, so don’t do it!
• definition cherubic: aww, I know I am! But thanks Google! NOW HIRE ME.
• brilliant words: well, obviously.
• how to frost a cupcake: feel free to come back here and post any good and useful information that you find on how to do this… I’m not that good at it.
• view on life: it’s an insider’s view, so it’s pretty accurate… I do what I can. 😉
• foreign foreplay: oooo yeah baby. It involves Guinness and a very adorable Irish bartender who makes the moves on you on a crowded Dublin street.

I really don’t know what to say. I feel… proud and honored. And hehehe.

This past week the Porkchop and I were in NYC for several days.

There was work, good food, Canal Street (the Chop, once again, was very sad) and… my sister, who was in NYC with her boyfriend, on a little vacation.

Her boyfriend, who, I might add, does not understand the Northeast winters and had to purchase ear muffs and gloves the second day in town. lol

We partied, got drunk, ate at Craft (Tom Colicchio’s restaurant… you know, Chef Tom from Top Chef) —which was fantastic, except for the veal cheeks (which the sister ordered), shopped Canal (you got about 10 purses, right sis?), um got drunk again and sucked down a tasty frozen hot chocolate at Serendipity.

Now, we’re home, mostly recuperated, and debating a move into a very cute little cottage in a town closer to our friends.

I’ve hesitated writing about this place, after the last time I wanted a really cute little cottage by the water and it was given to a more deserving person… this one is right on the water, complete with patio, washer and dryer, space for a dog, attic and basement, gorgeous hardwood floors, cathedral ceilings and a dishwasher.

We find out tomorrow or Friday if we get it, or if it goes to someone else.

The waiting game is excruciating.

So the eBay bitch opened a dispute, saying I didn’t pay. I responded to her dispute.. she didn’t.. and now I have TWO unpaid item strikes on my account.

This. bitch. is. going. to. die.

I keep my emails. Not only can I prove I paid, I can prove she refunded AND apologized.

Freaking eBay punk.

(It’s been a long day.. she has, once again, picked the wrong day to mess with me.)

So, somebody I know turned 33 today.

Happy Birthday J!

The Porkchop has a song for you too, but he’s missing his guitar down here in NYC, so is unable to properly serenade you.

Have no fear, when we get home, you will get your song and all your presents.. because lo and behold, the people shipped your Christmas present today, too! I know, I know, SHOCKING. 😛

Anywho, happy birthday dear. You don’t look a day over 22. 🙂