From what I remember, she forwarded it to me and I laughed—then she suggested publishing it.

Ah well, I digress.. to each his own.

I’ll remember not to let the coworker cajole me into publishing her email. 😉 Even if it is hysterical.

Sigh.

First, as a guy it may seem kind of strange that I don’t want casual sex. I haven’t been with a lot of women but more than what I ever wanted.

Each time, it was with someone I cared for, and there was a connection made. I’ve never been able to have sex casually.

I think about what sex is to me and I realize that I absolutely love it. But it’s not just the physical experience. If that was the case, I guess loving myself would be enough, but it’s not.

After some reflection I realize that it’s the closeness and the connection that I love and miss most of all. The connection expressed through sexuality. However, at the same time, that’s one of the things I fear most.

I don’t want a long list of emotional baggage. I don’t want any more letters or calls from ex-girlfriends. I don’t want to allow myself to be close to someone in the moment, who I know isn’t going to be in my life long-term.

For me, I think I would feel like shit after a one night stand, or even having sex with a friend who I knew there was no long-term potential with. It would cheapen the experience for me.

Sex is one of my favorite things. I LOVE sex. Needless to say, this causes me much frustration.

To make it worse, how long does it take to find someone that fits the criteria of staying in your life long-term? Perhaps if we weren’t so impatient we wouldn’t see so many bad marriages and bitter couples.

Do I have an answer to the dilemma? No. If I did I would have had sex before I came to work today. (Maybe twice)