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August 22nd, 2008
ah mom, where’s the love?

Update: And now she’s hung up on me. She called to see how I was doing, I said better, blah blah, and then I said, see, I told you I didn’t have an STD. Yeah, it went downhill from there, with her saying she didn’t imply anything about either of us cheating (uh hi, yeah you did) and me saying, yes you did and her eventually hanging up on me. Fun. Freaking. Times.

Alright, so this might be TMI, but whatever, there’s a point.

So I’ve been feeling kinda crappy for the past few days, but then last night I was in agony. I figured out what it was (UTI), so I called my dad to have him call me in a couple of prescriptions. If you’ve ever had one, you know they suck hugely and meds are immediately required.

Alright, so my dad was actually going in to see a patient, so I ended up talking to my mom. She said she’s definitely have him call it in, blah blah, but THEN (and here is where it gets to the point) she said, “do you know how you got this?”

Now I’ve only gotten one before this, and that was last summer, but I did talk to my OBGYN about it a few months ago. She indicated it might be the constant condom use (the pain of not being able to take birth control), but unless the Chop wants a vasectomy right now, we’ll just have to deal and hopefully I won’t get too many.

Alright, so I said that to my mom and also that I’ve been really stressed (and therefor drinking a bit more) trying to launch this massive website (which, btw, I was doing the final push last night.. lovely time to want to die) and so that can also throw off your pH balance.

My mom, out of the blue, was all, are you sure it’s a UTI? Because it could be an STD.

WTF?

I say, no, I’m sure it’s a UTI. Where would I get an STD? (mind you, I’m chuckling at this) It’s not like Chop or I have any time to have any other relationship, we’re way too damn busy.

Well, she says, it’s the people who you don’t think have the time to have affairs that do it.

Again, WTF?

So I say, ah, yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s not cheating on me (nor I on him). And seriously Mom, you went from me saying I have a UTI to thinking I might have an STD that he caught from another woman?

Her response was something like, you never know and blah blah blah.

Yeah, I’ve now decided that my Mom, whom I adore, is either a) a little insane, b) thinks the worst of guys in general or c) thinks the worst of me and Chop. I know some of her issues have to do with affairs that have occurred in the family, but come on, it’s not like every man/woman is going to cheat on his/her spouse/partner.

I mean really, would your Mom make that leap?

posted in: disturbing,hilarity — @ 2:40 pm

June 2nd, 2008
buddhist somewhat-marriage insanity

Has anyone else seen this?

Are you as deeply disturbed as me? I can’t believe I didn’t read about this before now, as it was posted on May 15th.

posted in: disturbing,hilarity — @ 4:01 pm

May 31st, 2008
you CAN keep some things private in a digital world

I am bored tonight, and what often happens when I am bored and the Chop is perfectly content (read: playing his PSP and watching a movie), I tend to page through the Internet (and I redesigned… you’ll probably need to refresh your browser a couple of times).

So this is yet another oddball post about Facebook. :D

My godsister recently got back from a mission trip and I knew she’d post photos, so I headed there first. She had an awesome time, is planning to move there for two years in six months and came back sporting braids, a nose ring and a very hot boyfriend. I’m not entirely sure her mother is as thrilled by these things as me…. ;)

I noticed some other people who had updated their profiles, and being curious (read: bored out of my fucking mind), I decided to see what was up.

And can I just say, if you have a goddamn private-ish blog wherein you blog back-and-forth with your husband who you are temporarily distanced from due to work, do not, I REPEAT, do not post a link to it on your Facebook account.

Because sometimes, people get bored, and they look for something to do, and they see a blog link and think, oo, cool, a blog I’ve never read, and then they click to it and then THEY WANT TO CLAW OUT THEIR EYEBALLS.

That is all I’m saying. Just keep it to yourself. I don’t need to know. No one does, seriously.

posted in: disturbing,hilarity — @ 11:34 pm

August 30th, 2007
get thee back

Oh dear god, a 200 yard spider web.

It’s my own personal nightmare come to life. Gag.

posted in: disturbing — @ 1:52 pm

June 27th, 2007
who’s gonna scare away the boogieman?

Last night, after everybody was in their respective bedtime locations (crate, basket, end of bed and bed), Regina started barking. Loudly. I rolled over, said shush, and noticed that the porch light had come on (it’s motion activated).

And for some reason, possibly because I had been watching a Law & Order marathon, that scared me to death.

Normally Reggie doesn’t bark, so several loud, shrill and pointed barks at the door is highly unusual.

And the Chop has been in NYC since Sunday.

So I opened her crate and systematically went to every window in the house, in the dark, to shut and lock them. Then, since our French doors seem awfully easy to break into (at least to me), I pushed a heavy cabinet in front of it.

I put Reggie back in her crate, but moved it closer to the bed and decided to sleep on his side (next to her), turned on the AC in the bedroom and tried to will myself to sleep.

Five minutes later I retrieved one of the military knives my father gave me for protection and slipped it under my pillow.

This morning I felt like an idiot, but the truth is, I felt incredibly vulnerable. We live on a very quiet street, and our house is up a little hill, set apart with woods and a stream behind it and I don’t honestly know how well our neighbors could hear me if I started screaming. (Some of them are old, lol.)

Before I met the Chop I lived quite easily alone (however it was on the second floor, with people above and below, and the doors had several locks apiece), and part of me wonders if I’ve gotten less of an independent-take-on-the-world-bring-it attitude since we moved in together.

And I don’t particularly like it, lol. So, independent women who previously lived alone but are now living in sin/married, did we change or is it dependent on perceived safety (locks, second floor, etc.)?

March 22nd, 2007
did you know qat is an acceptable word?

The Porkchop and I went shopping for packing supplies this weekend (and cat food), and somehow came home with three new games. :)

Travel Scrabble (for the train!), Cribbage (his sisters play, we are all going on vacation this summer together, I must learn) and Scene It Squabble (we haven’t even opened this one yet.. waiting for the people to come over, lol).

Sadly for the Chop, I don’t think he realized that the minute I had a Scrabble board in the house, I would want to play it incessantly. And since he is the only other one there, he’d get elected to play, too.

After three straight nights of three-hour games, the Chop needed a break.

I, of course, did not, and after much staring at the board, decided to bite the bullet and play online, something I have been very hesitant to do.

Why, you ask? Well, mainly ’cause I tend to be a bit obsessive when I find something like that… and I work on my computer all day, so knowing that a wonderful game of Scrabble is just one tab window away from me is my version of crack cocaine.

And right now, I really, really need a hit. :D

Online Scrabble? With other obsessive people who love it and want to play all night?! Sweet lord, where have you BEEN all my life?!

December 27th, 2006
so many, many levels of wrong

I just found twisted pleasure condoms and lubricant in my parent’s bedroom.

I cannot describe the sheer horror I am feeling right now.

Must. go. die.

posted in: disturbing — @ 12:24 am
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