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December 7th, 2010
life lessons, 2010

Things I’ve learned so far:

  • Too much vodka will make you feel very, very good. Then very, very bad. Combine that with fresh citrus-type fruit juice, and you’ve screwed the pooch for two days.
  • One should elope. No matter what you do or say, your mom will commandeer the wedding. Elope while you can.
  • Working for yourself is awesome. Until you want to take a vacation, or have a long weekend, or a baby, or a wedding… then you’re screwed.
  • Planning on getting pregnant? Pregnant already? Take a vacation. Now. You might think that it will be too much of a hassle, but trust me, you haven’t experienced hassle yet.
  • Having a baby before your first anniversary is definitely an experience. Don’t do it if you haven’t been together very long and/or haven’t been getting laid regularly. You won’t know what being married is like… being married with kids is a vastly different animal.
  • Moving across the country to a place you love is perfection… until you have a baby and you realize that having family around might be really helpful.
  • Pregnancy sucks. Also labor. It will be worse and hurt worse than you expect… for both of you. You have not felt pain. Plus the hormones afterward are a nightmare.
  • Sleep is magical. Sleep in, sleep late, go to bed early, etc. Get it while you can, because if you a) get older, b) get pregnant or c) have a kid, you will never get as much as you want again. Ever.
  • Having a great camera is key. Particularly one that can also take video. One of my favorite mementos from our trip to Ireland is a video of me driving a tiny car in the country. :D A smart phone is good too… especially if you have kids and there are grandparents involved. My mom now expects a picture every morning.
  • Visiting Santa at Christmastime with an infant is a freaking nightmare. Prepare for everything.
  • Children require constant stimulation and attention. Want to get some work done? Invest in every type of baby toy imaginable. Particularly the play mats with things that move and mirrors. And mobiles. I’ve currently reached the end of the attention span of a two month old.
posted in: hilarity,parenting,peanut,porkchop — @ 8:23 am

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